Under a New Sky
by Lady Shandara
Summary: An exiled dwarf has only one option; to learn to live under a new sky, in a new world. This is not easy, however, if she must also stop the Blight, not to mention find out what, or who, her heart truly desires. Aeducan/Gorim, eventually . Updated, wow!
1. Chapter 1

Note: The story follows the storyline of the game and is set after the events of the dwarf noble origin, so some knowledge of what happened there is required. Main characters are (naturally) Lady Kaehlyn Aeducan and Gorim.

All the characters from the game belong to Bioware and all the original characters belong to me. Although I'm willing to swap all my original characters (save Kaehlyn) for Gorim, in case Bioware is interested in making a deal.

…

**Chapter One – The endless sky**

_**Gorim**_

At first Gorim felt like falling up. Up into the vast, no, endless, sky. It stretched above him and around him, bright blue thing that was nothing like he had imagined. He stood there, alone, outside the gates of the place he had once called home, the people gathered in the square staring at him. They couldn't be mistaken of the reason why he was standing there; Bhelen had sent six guards to make sure he was kicked out as publicly as possible. The prince sought to humiliate him, but he didn't care. No matter what Bhelen did, the prince couldn't hurt him any more. He had a purpose on the surface.

The King had sent for him. He had already had packed his things, had been ready to leave, when Harrowmont had appeared and told him that the King wished to speak. Part of him wished he hadn't gone. Seeing the man like that… It was as if Endrin was already dead, his every word like a dying whisper. But there still had been something in the King's eyes. Determination. Harrowmont had given him the Shield of Aeducan and a letter from the King, and Endrin had told him to find his daughter. No matter what, he had to find Lady Aeducan. He had sworn to his King that he would find her. Of course it hadn't been necessary. He had sworn to find her already when they had said their goodbyes in the prison.

He had so wanted to stay at her side, to face the horrors of the Deep Roads with her. If he couldn't serve her, what was his purpose? He couldn't imagine his life in any other way but in her service. And to think he had at first resented the idea.

His father had served King Endrin all his life. It had been expected that he would in turn serve Trian, but it had turned out that the eldest prince wished to choose his own second-in-command. Everyone had expected that Endrin would have recommended him to prince Bhelen, but instead the King had told him Lady Aeducan would require a skilful companion, who could also improve her skills as a fighter.

The idea had seemed strange to him. Of course he knew that Lady Aeducan was training as a warrior instead of following the more traditional path of diplomacy and gentle backstabbing, but he couldn't imagine himself in her service. The Queen had recently died, and the princess, who had been close to her mother, had taken it hard and withdrawn from the court for quite some time. Weak nerves, some said, unsuitable for power. As soon as the princess would let go of the silly notions of trying to be a warrior and had aged a couple more years, she could be married off to some nice young noble. But the King had different plans, and suddenly Gorim had found himself in the middle of those plans.

He had never spoken to her. He had seen her many times, a woman some years younger than him, her long blond hair plaited, wearing at first the colourful dresses of the nobility, then the more toned-down colours of a grieving daughter. But apart from her looks and some rumours, he knew next to nothing about her, and had gone to meet her for the first time with some doubts.

"Ser Gorim," she had said, giving him a little nod, followed by a nervous smile. He had bowed and then, in awkward silence, they had both turned to look at Harrowmont, who had been sent by the King to make sure everything went well. The noble lord had looked like he too had doubts about the situation, but had managed to almost cover it.

"I believe I should thank you for agreeing to be my…" Lady Aeducan hesitated and glanced at Harrowmont, "what is it exactly that my father wishes Ser Gorim to do?"

"Well, you need some more weapons training, and Ser Gorim comes from the top of the Warrior Caste," Lord Harrowmont had started to explain.

"So a weapons trainer?" Lady Aeducan had said.

"And… Well, he can take care of other things for you as well, things that you, as a noble, shouldn't spend your time on. Or can't spend your time on," Harrowmont had said, dropping all the pretences. Gorim had always respected the man because he seemed a lot more honest and direct than many other nobles, but at that moment he hadn't appreciated the deshyr's frankness.

"I see," Lady Aeducan had said, a little smile playing on her lips. "Then I suppose you can leave us, Lord Harrowmont, now that both Ser Gorim and I know what is required of him. Tell my father that I appreciate his concern for my weapons training and… other things."

"As you wish, my lady." Harrowmont had left the room, leaving Gorim standing in front of the princess, who was fiddling with a bracelet made of silver. When the door had closed after the deshyr, she had looked at him with an apologetic smile.

"With me, you will always have the permission to speak freely," she had said, stepping closer. "I know you are here because my father wished so and because your family has a history with mine. Do you… Do you think you will be at least a little bit comfortable in this position? You are a warrior, and I know you expected to be Trian's second-in-command. I don't know yet whether I'll need a second-in-command, I hope I will, but… I hope you will not think your talents are wasted in my service." She had stopped, drawing a breath and then shaking her head. "I'm nervous, I'm sorry." There they were, "nervous" and "sorry" two words that he had never expected to hear from a noble's mouth. They had made him feel uncomfortable.

"My Lady Aeducan," he had started, thinking his words carefully. "I am pledged to serve your family. To serve you. That is all that matters."

"It really isn't," she had replied with a sad shake of her head. "But I guess it will do for now. At what time tomorrow would you like to meet me for weapons training?" Before he had managed to open his mouth to reply, she had continued: "I've grieved my mother enough, now it's time to continue doing what she hoped I would. Following in the footsteps of the Paragon Aeducan. Afternoon, perhaps?"

He had agreed, and had left feeling like something he couldn't quite understand had happened. And the next day he had met her for practice, and he had seen that whatever the rumours said, her nerves were certainly not weak and her skills in battle were more than some of the young noblemen desperately seeking to show their worth in the Provings.

"Any weaknesses in my technique, please correct them. You may not wish to speak freely about any other things, but you need to speak freely about any of my weaknesses in battle," she had said, and he had realized that perhaps being in her service wasn't going to be babysitting a future nobleman's wife.

…

"Hey, you're leaving or what?" a voice pulled him from his memories, back into the stones outside Orzammar. He glanced at a surface dwarf, shoddily dressed. "You might want to sell some stuff, you know, if you're not staying. Easier to travel. Why have two shields? I could buy the other one."

"No," had been his only reply, but he had sold a dagger he no longer needed, and purchased some healing poultices as well as a slightly torn map. Human settlements, he needed to travel to those places. The Deep Roads had not defeated her, she had found the Grey Wardens, and they would take her with them somewhere where there were other humans. He would find her. Bring her the message and gift from the King, and then take his place at her side. He had not wanted it at first, but he was her man. Whether in Orzammar or on the surface.

After trading with the annoying merchant he had set off down the mountain. He travelled a full day, managing to avoid a small group of darkspawn that were roaming the mountain. Finding a safe and relatively comfortable place between tall rocks, he settled down with his head on pack, and looked up. The endless sky was now dark, but splattered with… yes, stars, that glittered like diamonds. It was strange, but not really frightening. There was comfort in those glittering things that – he had heard – were very far away and still shone their light onto the world. With his eyes on the stars, and his thoughts in the task before him, he drifted to his first sleep under the sky.

…

_**Kaehlyn**_

No matter how hard Kaehlyn tried, she couldn't sleep. They had travelled fast through the caverns and had arrived to the surface at nightfall, so she should've been tired, but she was under the sky that stretched everywhere, with no end in sight, and she couldn't turn her eyes away from it. She had been told about and she had read about the sky, but nothing had prepared her for it. During daytime it was light blue, she had been told, with sun and white or grey clouds, but she saw it for the first time during night, and it was dark. Yet the sky wasn't dark like a ceiling of a cavern. It was filled with bright stars that sparkled like diamonds, and from their camp, the moon could be seen through tree branches. With so much light around her, in such a strange place, how could she get any sleep?

"Can't sleep?" Duncan walked to her and leaned on the cliff near her. She shook her head and looked up.

"It's beautiful," She said and glanced at the Grey Warden, who had almost a sad smile on his lips. "Although I knew that there is a sky and stars and moon, I had never imagined that they would be so… Unbelievable."

"I imagine this needs getting used to," Duncan said. "But I suppose if a surface dweller was suddenly taken to Orzammar and had to live there, they would need time to get used to not seeing the sky." The Grey Warden stopped and looked at her apologetically. "I shouldn't have mentioned your home, I imagine you still…"

"I don't want to forget Orzammar," she said, turning her eyes back to the sky. "And although thinking about it is painful and makes me wish I could forget, I shouldn't. Tell me," she continued after a small pause, "are there any particular places where the surface dwarves live?"

"On the surface the dwarves are quite close to one another, since castes don't really matter here. I believe there is a dwarven community in Denerim, at least" Duncan replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you remember Gorim, my second-in-command? My friend? He was exiled as well, but allowed to come to the surface instead of being sent to the Dark Roads," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "He's a skilful warrior, but I… I would like to find out that he's safe."

"I'm not sure what the best place to begin searching for him would be," Duncan said after thinking a while. "I'm sorry that we do not have time to look for him now. We must hurry to Ostagar, but once our duties there are over, I would gladly help you track Gorim."

"Thank you," she said, smiling at him. "I feel like I've lost everything of my old life and I just need to know that at least my friend is safe."

"Perhaps he will try to find you," Duncan said, and she shook her head.

"I don't know. I hope that he… He's a good friend and deserves to live a good life, and he was caught in the political games that my brother plays. It's my fault that he's on the surface, because I underestimated Bhelen and his lust for power. And what I've heard about you Grey Wardens, well, you don't exactly lead lives filled with happiness and safety. I want Gorim to be safe."

"Although your concern for your friend's safety is commendable, Lady Aeducan," Duncan said, stressing the title, "I believe he makes his own choices and takes care of his own safety."

"You're right," she said after a while. "Maybe I do think like a noble who knows what's best for everyone else. And I shouldn't, since I'm no longer a noble. Gorim's life is his own, and if I find him, or he finds me, and he wishes to join the Wardens… Could he?"

"I think we need to think about that if the situation arises," Duncan said, and she was certain that there was something more he wished to say, but didn't. "Becoming a Grey Warden isn't simple, nor is being one."

"I understand. Thank you anyway," she said. "And please, no more Lady Aeducan, even if you wish to make a point."

"Of course. It's Kaehlyn, isn't it?" Duncan said and she nodded. "Then I bid you good night, Kaehlyn. Try to get some sleep, no matter how many thoughts try to keep you awake. We still have a long way to travel before we reach Ostagar."

After the Grey Warden had left, Kaehlyn settled against the stone, which made her feel a bit better, and looked up. The moon had disappeared behind some trees, but she could still see the stars. Looking at them comforted her, although she couldn't really say why, and she finally fell asleep.

…

**Rant from the writer (explaining how the fic got started)**: The hearts of both me and my dwarven noble female were torn out of our chests, shattered and the pieces trampled on the ground when we walked up to Gorim in Denerim and found out he was married. My dwarf handled the situation quite well, noble upbringing and all, but I didn't. I think my thought process went along these lines: Excuse me? Married? My character rushed from Korcari Wilds to Lothering, barely stopping to pick up Sten and Leliana, then hurried straight to Denerim and you're married already? Didn't take that long to get over her, did it? And if you thought you'd never see her again, why still have the shield and the letter? Liar! You bastard! And so on, I think you get the idea. So in order to make Kaehlyn (and me) happy, I have to rewrite the whole darn thing. There may not be a truly happy ending in sight, I have to see where the story takes me, but there will certainly be more than "I'll think of you fondly whenever I change the nappies of the baby I'm going to have with another woman, would you like a discount now?". Thank you for reading this rant, I promise I won't go insane anymore. At least not much.


	2. Chapter 2

Note from the writer: Thank you for the reviews, I'm actually a bit nervous now. Can't mess up this romance since there are so many people reading about it!

I was going to make each chapter feature both Gorim and Kaehlyn, but this chapter was so long that I abandoned the idea. They're going to take turns and I need to do some rewriting with the couple of chapters I had ready.

...

**Chapter 2 – New roads, new acquaintances**

_**Gorim**_

"So you'll be at the back, making sure we're not attacked from behind. And if we are, you make sure they don't get to the wagons. You can do that?" the caravan leader was looking down on him in more than just the physical sense, but Gorim simply nodded. The human didn't have to like him, he certainly didn't like the human, but he had a job and it allowed him to travel south. He had met the merchant caravan at the road heading south, where they had been forced to stop because of a wheel breaking from one of the wagons. They had been short on guards – the caravan leader had stressed the word _short_ when telling this to Gorim – and so he had been hired without any questions about his past or of his future plans. The pay he had been offered was ridiculously low, but he wasn't interested in the money.

"We'll be leaving soon, so go find your place. There are couple of other guards back there already," the leader gestured towards couple of wagons further back on the road, and turned away before Gorim had a chance to respond. He didn't care. He hoisted his pack, containing the Shield of Aeducan, and started to walk towards the end of the caravan, where there already were a couple of human guards. As he passed by a small wagon, a cheerful voice called out to him.

"Atrast vala! It is good to see one of our own guarding us!" A smiling man with a silvery beard walked towards him. "The humans can be so tiresome sometimes. Oh, I'm Soras Thalan. Merchant, although originally from a smith family. Finest crafts outside of Orzammar, and almost the fairest prices."

"Well met," Gorim said slowly, eyeing the man cautiously. "My name is Gorim."

"Simply Gorim? Oh, I see. Recently from Orzammar, is it?" Soras said, and continued before Gorim could reply: "Don't worry, here nobody cares about your former life. Welcome to the surface!"

"Thank you," Gorim replied, still watching Soras closely. The man spoke so fast, as if thoughts were rushing about his head and needed to get out almost faster than he could speak. His hands were moving fast as well, gestures emphasizing his words.

"It is truly a pleasure to have you guard us," Soras repeated, then seemed to remember something else. "Oh, that damn crate, bouncing up and down… Alyssa, did you tie that one crate down?" he shouted towards the wagon.

"Yes, uncle," a young woman hopped out of the wagon and then looked at Gorim inquisitively.

"This is Gorim, our new protector. Gorim, I'd like to introduce you to Alyssa, my dearest niece." Soras made the introduction excitedly.

"His only niece," Alyssa said grinning a bit. "A pleasure to meet you," she continued and curtsied a bit. "Would you like to leave your pack into our wagon? It would be lighter for you to walk and I promise I won't let uncle Soras sell it."

"Good idea," Soras said. "And you must join us for supper once we stop."

"There are only humans and a couple of elves in the caravan, so uncle could use some friendly company," Alyssa said smiling. "As could I."

"Thank you, but I… I'll think about it," Gorim said, unsure how to respond to the surprising situation. In Orzammar, someone wouldn't have just invited him to dine, not without knowing his family and his place in the caste system. The surface clearly was different. The young woman looked like she was going to say something, but the caravan leader called them to get moving. Gorim nodded to Soras and his niece, who climbed into the wagon.

"Oh, what about your pack?" Alyssa shouted as the wagons started rolling forward, but Gorim simply shook his head. The woman flashed him one more smile before turning to look at the road ahead. Gorim waited until the last of the wagons had passed him and then set off after them alongside the human guards.

…

The journey was uneventful, although at one point they had to stop because the howling of wolves carrying from the mountains scared the oxen. There were no attacks, however, and they stopped for the night next to a small human village. Gorim joined Soras and Alyssa for supper, mostly because he couldn't think of a good reason to refuse, but also because he felt like he could use some company. When he was alone, his thoughts travelled too often to dark places.

"Uncle is truly a merchant, nothing can get between him and making a sale," Alyssa said laughing as they sat by the fire. Soras had hurried of to trade with a human from a faraway farm. The man had travelled all day to see the merchants, and offered to pay extra for the goods at so late an hour. "I think he would do business even in the middle of the battle, selling weapons to the highest bidder and dodging arrows while doing it."

"Do you often travel with him?" Gorim asked, trying to remember when he had last had a conversation that had nothing to do with battles or training or Orzammar politics. Well, he and Lady Aeducan had discussed many other things, but it had been different. He had been in his lady's service, whereas now the talk was between equals. Well, almost, since Gorim had no real place on the surface, while Alyssa was the niece of a successful merchant and the daughter of a smith. But somehow she made him feel like they were equals.

"Fairly often," Alyssa said, offering him more stew. "Uncle is a good merchant almost without a rival, but… He can sometimes be a bit forgetful. I help with the business and keep my uncle grounded when he needs that. And since I'm not married, this is better than just staying at home. My father is a master smith and quite busy with his apprentices and all, so he doesn't really need me around," Alyssa added.

She pushed back a dark lock of hair that had escaped from her long plait and glanced at Gorim to see if he would react to her mentioning marriage. She wasn't exactly sure why she had mentioned it. She had only just met the man and knew very little of him. He was handsome, there was no question about that, and very quiet about his past, which made him mysterious, and she realized that she wouldn't mind learning more about the warrior.

"Thank you for your hospitality, but I should go" Gorim said and stood up. "I have to keep watch during the night."

"Of course, I didn't mean to keep you up too late. I'll tell uncle you had to leave," Alyssa said, smiling at him. She wasn't sure if she imagined it, or whether the man actually flashed a little smile back at her.

"Sleep well," Gorim said and started to walk away. He was certain that the young woman was watching him, and felt slightly flattered. Alyssa was quite pretty, no, actually beautiful, and has been very friendly to him. Mentioning marriage, however, had startled him a bit. Maybe the woman had meant nothing by it. Or maybe she had.

Gorim hadn't thought much about marriage back in Orzammar. He had been in his lady's service. No wife deserved a husband who spent more time with another woman, even though the other woman was a noble and there was nothing between them besides loyalty and duty. It just hadn't felt right to him.

Despite his reluctance, there had been a couple of young women, who had made their interest clear. A daughter of a fellow warrior and a daughter of a smith. Both were smart and capable women, and their father's wouldn't have opposed the match. Both would've made good wives. And the one who would've become his wife would've had to carry the shame of his exile. Maybe even share the sentence, Gorim would've expected no less from Bhelen.

The thought of the traitorous prince made him snap out of his memories. He couldn't believe that one evening with a beautiful young woman had almost made him forget what he was supposed to be doing. Even though he had wanted to forget, even for a moment, it was ridiculous of him to think about marriage and what could have been when he was supposed to concentrate on one task before him. Finding Lady Aeducan. That was the only thing that mattered, not pretty blue eyes or beautiful smiles. Sighing heavily, he walked up to his bedroll, hoping he could get some sleep before he would have to take his turn guarding the sleeping caravan.

…

Alyssa watched Gorim disappear into the darkening night and then settled down by the fire. She had enjoyed his company, although it had been mostly she and Soras who had kept the conversation going. Gorim had given very short answer to their questions and avoiding telling them practically anything about himself.

"It's understandable," Soras said after he had returned and was finishing his almost cold supper. "No tattoos, so he wasn't casteless. Fine weapons and armour, so he might've been warrior caste."

"Then why is he here?" Alyssa asked, staring into the fire.

"Orzammar politics," Soras snorted. "You need to get several blows to the head to understand what goes on in there. That's why me and your father left."

"Tired of being hit to the head, sure," Alyssa laughed. No matter how many storied she heard of life in Orzammar, she found them hard to believe. Why would anyone choose to live in a place where birth defined your entire life? Sure, there were the stories of paragons and how one great deed could raise even the lowliest person into eternal glory. But what were the chances of that happening? No, life on surface made much more sense to her.

"But what could've happened to make him leave?" she asked, turning to look at Soras, who had emptied his plate and was scraping the leftovers from the pot.

"I can't even guess. But he wasn't a criminal, that's sure. Doesn't seem the type."

"I know," Alyssa said. "He just seems so… sad."

"Well, he could use some comforting, then," Soras said and gave her a sidelong glance. "I suppose you wouldn't mind taking on that task?"

"What!" Alyssa realized her voice was a little too high and she knew that there was a blush creeping to her cheeks. "Uncle dearest," she continued, composing herself quickly," you are being very silly."

"And you are blushing quite a lot," Soras replied, unable to stifle his grin. "I'm not blaming you. Travelling with an old man, no wonder meeting a handsome young man is exciting."

"I'm going to bed," Alyssa said, getting up. "You can clean up and think of ways to torment me tomorrow."

"It comes to me naturally, I'm an elderly relative," Soras said and Alyssa kissed his cheek.

"Sleep well uncle. And remember to scrub the pot extremely well."

"I will, I will," Soras said and sat staring at the fire for quite a while after Alyssa had left. At first he had been happy to have one of their own people in the caravan, but a stranger with troubled past and a niece who usually had her feet firmly on the ground but now seemed to have her head in the air… Not a good combination. But Gorim was a good man, of that he was sure. He just wasn't sure if he was the kind of good man he wanted around his niece.

…

Another note: I know that the city elf's cousin is Soris, but I didn't remember that when I named Soras, and now I'm just going to go with that name.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Encounters in the South**

_**Kaehlyn**_

The more she saw of the surface, the more she liked it. Even though at times the sky felt too vast and the sun so bright and everything made her miss the ceiling in Orzammar so much that she thought her heart would break, the surface intrigued her. All the plants and animals, but especially birds. There were some flying creatures in the caverns, but birds were amazing. They circled in the sky, wind beneath their wings supporting them, carrying them. She could've spend all the time watching them, but they walked along hidden and deserted paths, and she had to concentrate on the path rather than the sky.

They didn't waste time on their way to Ostagar. Duncan told her more about the Grey Wardens, although she constantly had the feeling that there was something he wasn't telling, an empty space in the conversation that the man had no intention to fill. She hadn't spent as much time with Orzammar politics as her brothers, which in hindsight seemed like a big mistake, but she had gone through enough plotting and scheming to know when she was not told something. But in Duncan's case, she didn't think it was for his gain. However, she had no idea what he achieved by hiding things from her. She didn't ask. He had brought her with him, saved her from death. He was allowed a few secrets.

The scenery changed a lot during the journey south. Ostagar was in a forest, a concept that she had heard about, but hadn't exactly understood how many variations that concept actually entailed. She had come to terms with the other types of forest on their journey, but the land around Ostagar – Korcari Wilds, Duncan had called it – felt to her as hostile as the Deep Roads. And the further they got from Orzammar, the further away she felt from the Stone. Of course it was ridiculous, because the Stone was still underneath her, even around her in small cliffs and rocks, but it felt different. It was the sky, she told herself. It drained the feel of Stone, leaving only a small echo whereas in Orzammar she had felt it wrapping around her, supporting her. There were times when she felt like falling, perhaps to the ground, perhaps into air, because there was nothing to hold on to anymore.

"The Maker gives me strength," one of Duncan's men had told her when they had been walking side by side one day. She knew of the Maker, but couldn't really understand what humans saw in a god that had left them. Why did they still worship something that clearly cared nothing for them, allowed the Blight to fall upon them? The dwarves didn't waste their time on a disappeared god, because that wasn't important. She had tried to avoid giving a direct opinion on the matter, since she didn't wish to offend the man. He had tried to talk to her about the Maker a couple more times, but then, she imagined, Duncan had told him not to.

"There's Ostagar," Duncan suddenly said and they all stopped. In the horizon, beyond the treetops, was a fortress. It looked like it had seen better days, but there were flags waving in the battlements, and smoke from fires showed that there were people there. They walked towards the place, and when they got closer she could feel the coming battle. She felt it in the people they passed, and it was similar to the feeling there had been in Orzamar whenever a campaign against the darkspawn was near. She liked it. Battle was what she knew well.

"There are Grey Wardens, the king's troops, as well as the mages from the Circle," Duncan explained to her as they walked into the fortress. The other Wardens had gone to attend to whatever duties they had.

"What about the… Mabari, was it?" Kaehlyn asked. Duncan had told her about the hounds that were very intelligent and in a way became a part of their owner. It was an interesting idea, using the animals in battle, and she was keen on seeing them.

"The king's kennels are in the camp, you should have time to visit them. Ahh, speaking of the king…" Duncan said and stopped when a human male in polished, glowing armour approached them.

"Well met, Duncan. I almost thought you would miss the battle," the man started, and Kaehlyn watched him with interest. He seemed young, almost like a child, talking with such keenness about the coming battle. When he addressed her, talked about the dwarves, mentioned her father… Duncan did not mention her relationship with Endrin, and she was grateful. He had told her that her past was her own, and he would keep it a secret, as would the Wardens who had been with him in Deep Roads. She didn't mention it either. There would've been no point in telling the king, and in a way, she wasn't Endrin's daughter anymore. She had been erased form the Memories.

"Once you've looked around, find Alistair and come and see me," Duncan said after the king had left and he had explained her about the coming battle and the mysterious ritual before it. As she walked across to the other side of the fortress, she pondered whether the ritual, or some part of it, was what had made Duncan so secretive during their talks. She was also troubled over Duncan's concerns about the coming battle and the archdemon. The dwarves were more concerned with the darkspawn hordes underground, not the arch demon that usually appeared on the surface when the Blight began, but she had read about battles against them. The Shaperate had Memories on the Blights, and the battles fought both underground and on the surface, and she had studied them, although her concentration had naturally been on the dwarven campaigns underground.

She wandered around the camp, meeting a human mage called Wynne, who told her a little about the mages. Kaehlyn found it intriguing. She had studied a little about mages as well, since trade in lyrium was an important part of Orzammar's surface dealings, but some of the things the mage told her were new to her. More surprising, and somewhat creepy, was her encounter with another mage whose emotions had been cut so that he wouldn't be possessed by demons. Talking with the tranquil left her with an uneasy feeling, and she still tried to shake it when she came across the dog kennels.

"Oh, you're to be a Warden? You think you could help me?" a man standing by the kennels asked. "This dog here…"

"I'm afraid I don't know anything about dogs," Kaehlyn interrupted, eyeing the dog in the pens. It was a huge animal, and it clearly was sick. "What are those dark… things on its face?"

"Its owner died and the poor thing swallowed some darkspawn blood. I have some medicine to make him feel better, but I need to muzzle him first. And he… He won't let me near," the man finished with a resigned sigh. "You Wardens, you have this… connection with the darkspawn, I understand, so I thought you might help."

"I'm not a Warden yet," Kaehlyn said, still staring at the dog. It whined and looked at her, its eyes full of pain but also surprising intellect. "But… What would you need me to do?"

"Just go into the pen and put this muzzle on him. I can then give him the medication without the fear of being bit," the man explained and handed her a muzzle. Feeling very nervous, Kaehlyn stepped into the pen. The dog growled weakly, but didn't attack. She knelt down next to the dog and patted its head. The dog whined and she put the muzzle on it very slowly and carefully. Once it was done, she backed out of the pen, her heart racing. Even with the muzzle on, the dog could've taken her down with a sweep of its huge pawn. Although it was strange to be nervous of a dog when she had faced darkspawn alone, she still was.

"Thank you so much!" the man said. "Now I can at least try to help him. Tell me, are you heading into the Wilds at any time?"

"I really don't know," Kaehlyn said. Duncan hadn't told her much, only that she should at some point find the Warden called Alistair.

"If you do, could you try to find a flower?" the man asked and then went on to describe the flower and tell how it would help the dog. She glanced at the animal, which looked pained, but still watched them closely.

"I'll do my best," she said, although she was certain she would have better things to worry about in the days to come. But… If she could help the animal, she wanted to do it. No matter how ridiculous it was, there seemed to be one life she could try to save.

Gorim might have been amused, said something about her not being very good with animals. There had been that nug that some young nobleman had sent her, in a beautiful basket with a colourful ribbon around its neck. The damned animal had bolted from the basket and started running around the room, with both of them trying to catch it. Bhelen had come in, asking about the noise, and the nug had escaped past him into the corridor. Later it had turned out it had been pregnant and little nugs had appeared all over the castle, one of them even hopping in to disturb her father's meeting with some nobles.

The happy memories darkening her thoughts, Kaehlyn left the kennels. As she walked, she pondered how differently she was treated on the surface. In Orzammar, people hadn't just called out to her if they wanted to talk, little alone asked her to fetch some things for them. Although she had never thought of herself as a spoiled princess, she actually had been one, in some ways. It was strange that she had been allowed to take up arms, but had at the same time been sheltered from ordinary people. The other castes, apart from some warriors, merchants and servants, were quite unfamiliar to her. And if she was honest to herself, she had to admit that servants to had been little more than parts of the furniture, people who were there to assist her and could then be sent away. By the Stone, she had been stupid.

Sighing at the memories filling her mind, she headed the way she had been told Alistair had gone to, and soon saw a young human male, dressed in armour and clearly enjoying himself, talking to a mage who seemed to be getting more and more annoyed by the minute. She listened to the conversation, and it was clear that the young man, she could only assume it was Alistair, was doing his best to annoy the mage.

"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together," the man said turning to her after the mage had stormed off. Kaehlyn stared at him wondering whether he was serious or not. Probably not.

"You are a very strange human," she said, trying not to smile too much. The human nodded gravely.

"You're not the first to tell me that. Wait, you're not another mage, are you?"

"I'm a dwarf," Kaehlyn said, then instantly felt very silly. She was certain that the human could see that quite clearly. "Dwarves can't be mages," she added trying to make herself sound a bit smarter.

"You never know, mages are pretty sneaky," the human said laughing. "So if you're not a mage, who… Wait, you're Duncan's new recruit. From Orzammar, right?"

"Yes. I'm Kaehlyn," she introduced, thinking how strange it was to use her first name only, without 'Aeducan' or 'lady' thrown in. Strange and also somehow liberating. "And you must be Alistair."

"Oh, you've heard of me. Nothing bad I hope?" the human said and Kaehlyn smiled. There was something about the man that she instantly liked. They headed back to the main camp while Alistair told her a little more about the Warden's and the Blight. She felt strangely comfortable and when they got to Duncan, she realized that she actually laughed a couple of times, something that hadn't happened to her since all that business at Orzammar.

"Good, you're all here," Duncan said and Kaehlyn glanced at the two other recruits Duncan had mentioned. Both of them were humans, and she couldn't help feeling a bit short and out of place, even if Alistair's smiling face had calmed her storming thoughts a bit. "It's time for the Ritual," Duncan said and Kaehlyn turned her attention to the man, waiting for what was to come.

...

Note from the writer: I have a slight "meh" feeling about this chapter, although there are bits that I like. And since my rewriting skills took off, shouting something about a long vacation, I'm just going to post this and concentrate on the next chapter (which is almost finished!).


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Fragments in the Dark**

_**Kaehlyn**_

Kaehlyn wanted to open her eyes, but it felt like the darkness surrounding her was stopping her, making her eyelids so heavy that she had no choice but to drift back deeper into the darkness.

There had been a forest, hadn't there? She had been there with these humans. She had knelt next to a dead darkspawn and gathered its blood into a vial. And flowers, she remembered the flowers. For a cure. One of the humans, Daveth, she thought as the name drifted from the darkness, had laughed at her, told her that if a beautiful woman such as she wanted flowers, she needed only ask and he would find them. Daveth, he was the one who had…

No, not yet. They had fought more darkspawn, they had been searching for something. A chest, its magical wards broken and the contents taken. And then there had been a human female, with dark hair and strange eyes that seemed to look through her. They had talked. The humans with Kaehlyn had been afraid. Called the woman a witch. Kaehlyn hadn't been afraid. She'd been curious, but not afraid.

Then another woman, older one. They had followed the dark-haired woman to a small cabin and there had been the old woman. Looking into her eyes had been like looking at the ancestors. They were old, and wise. And frightening. More talking, the words so slippery that no matter how Kaehlyn tried to grasp them in the darkness, she couldn't. So she let them go. The old woman had given them something. Documents, treaties, something that the Grey Warden, the one who'd saved her from the Deep Roads, had wanted. Did she give them to him? No, and it was good, since he had been down there when…

The ritual. Yes, they had returned to the camp and there had been ritual. And fire and ice in her mouth and in her body and visions flashing before her eyes and darkness and then she had opened her eyes and there had been light. And she had gotten up and tried not to look at the crumbled body of Daveth and the bloodstained body of Jory – Duncan had killed him, she almost hadn't believed her eyes – and they had told her that she was a Grey Warden. And the taste of the blood had stayed in her mouth.

A meeting. Plans, tactics. She had grown up with those things, even though there had been those who had told her that diplomacy was more suited for women. And how could she fight when she needed to have children? But no, the meeting wasn't about that, all the discussion about children and her role had taken place in another place. Another time. They had discussed war. The coming battle. And a light. Light in the dark, signalling someone. She needed to make sure it was lit. She and the human. Alistair. The one with the quick smile and strange humour.

It had rained. She had never felt rain before. Drops of water, falling from the sky. Strange, strange. She had thought about someone, someone she knew from the past, from the place where there was no sky, and wondered if he too stood under the open sky and felt the raindrops at that same moment. And then the army, the darkspawn, they had marched into view. Commands were shouted, growling of the hounds, all the sounds mixed together in the darkness as she tried to make some sense out of them. And fire raining down from the sky. And they had run. Not away. They had run to reach the tower. The tower where the light should be.

A mage and a guard. Following them up into a tower. More darkspawn. They shouldn't have been up there. Endless waves of darkspawn. She remembered that her hair had come loose from the ponytail and she had tried to push it back from her face, which at some point had become so easy because her hair was matted with darkspawn blood and she could remember cutting her hair, in the past, in the place where she had been safe. Her hair had been long and plaited and she had thought that it wasn't suitable for a warrior and then she had had it cut and she had looked at herself in the mirror with the shoulder-length hair and a man had stepped in and told her it suited her and she had felt strangely happy that he liked it. Why? When was that? And why was this memory trying to rise up from the darkness? Was it important?

Stairs, rooms, more darkspawn. Reaching the top. Blood everywhere, and a gigantic creature, tossing aside the body of some poor human as it got up and turned to look at them. Fear, fear going through her, making it hard to breathe. Shouting commands at the mage and the guard. Looking at Alistair who nodded at her. Charging. pain and blood and spells whizzing past her head and dodging the creature's blows and kicks. More blood. More and more blood. And then a silence. For a moment, perfect silence, until she could once again hear the sounds of battle from below.

Rushing to the beacon. Lighting it. Flame glowing in the darkness. She had felt a fleeting moment of peace, staring at the fire that started from the smallest spark and then grew and spread and made everything seem brighter and better. They had run to the edge, looked down. The troops should have seen the light, should have been moving to help the king. They were moving the other way. Retreating. Below, the darkspawn were winning. So much blood and dead humans and the last spells of the mages trying to make a difference and failing. Alistair leaning on the railing, his face pale. And then pain in her shoulder as an arrow hit it. Turning, seeing the darkspawn pouring into the tower. Falling to the floor, the taste of darkspawn blood in her mouth replace by the taste of her own blood.

Then the darkness. Darkness and the dreams. Or visions. Or memories. A man, her father, coming into her room and telling her that her mother had died. Walking along the corridors of the castle, not seeing or hearing anything or anyone. Darkness. Then a light. Finding again the purpose she had lost. Finding a friend she could trust. And there were two brothers. A brother who hardly talked to her and scolded her no matter what she did. A brother who always smiled and joked and called her "dearest big sister". Betrayal and loss and anger and suddenly being alone again, the pain in her heart making it difficult to breathe.

Thoughts and memories and feelings that attacked her from all directions, leaving her vulnerable and cold and alone. In the dark. And the need to open her eyes. Earlier she had felt so weak that sinking back into the dark had been the only choice. But she had to fight. There was light somewhere. She just had to find it. She opened her eyes.

…

There was the young witch woman. Morrigan. And then Alistair, grief radiating off him and drowning his usual cheerfulness. And the old witch. Flemeth. Everyone else was dead. The king. Duncan. Betrayal again. She wondered if she was destined to find betrayal wherever she went.

Kaehlyn spoke with Alistair, trying to ease his grief, although she knew well enough that the pain the human was feeling was the kind that would not go away. Then Flemeth spoke of the Blight, of the things that needed to be done. Alistair mentioned the treaties. And suddenly Kaehlyn realized she was in charge. She needed to find the allies, persuade them to help the Wardens. She needed to return to Orzammar. Alistair said she would be allowed in, since she was a Warden, but would her father see her? Would Bhelen allow her to see Endrin? Would Endrin still be in power or would Bhelen have killed him as well? She felt relieved when Alistair mentioned Redcliffe and its arl. That was the place they would visit first. She couldn't go to Orzammar, not yet.

She felt worried that Flemeth was so interested about their success. Of course she would be, since the Blight threatened her as well, but Kaehlyn still felt uneasy. It didn't help that Flemeth told Morrigan that she needed to go with them. Or told them they needed to take Morrigan with them. Kaehlyn wasn't certain which it was, but she was certain Morrigan didn't like the idea. Neither did Alistair. But Flemeth was right; they needed all the help they could get.

As Morrigan said her goodbyes, Kaehlyn walked a little further, trying to clear her thoughts. It felt as if she had still been asleep, drifting through the conversations. But it was time to properly wake up. She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath, inhaling the strange scent of the surface that felt even stronger in the strange forest they were in. Footsteps approached and she opened her eyes to see Alistair stopping next to her. He said nothing, but his eyes told her he understood what she was going through. She gave him a smile and then walked to the path, where Morrigan was waiting for them, looking both annoyed and excited.

As they started to walk towards the Wilds, Kaehlyn turned to look behind her. Flemeth was standing outside the cabin, a strange look on her face that almost frightened her. She turned way and followed Morrigan, who was telling Alistair that he needed to stop thumping around like a giant, or they would never slip past the darkspawn unnoticed. Kaehlyn bit her lip and glanced at the sky. Even though they made it past the horde alive, she wasn't sure how long it would take before Morrigan and Alistair tried to kill each other. Judging from Alistair's snappy comeback to Morrigan, not very long.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Blood and bodies**

_**Gorim**_

The caravan had travelled along the road, stopping at small villages and one larger place called Redcliffe. The place had been silent, with rumours of the Arl's sickness spreading among the people like fire. There had also been rumours about a battle being fought against the darkspawn somewhere south, in a place called Korcari Wilds.

Gorim had studied the old map he had, and he'd concluded that he could accompany the caravan near a village called Lothering, and then leave and head south. He talked to no one about this plan. Even though Soras and Alyssa had been more than kind to him, explaining things to them might bring up questions he was not willing to answer, or knew not how to answer. How to explain his need to leave without telling them about Lady Aeducan, whose story was not his to share with others? It was better to remain quiet.

The caravan had been attacked near the village of Lothering. Bandits had stormed from the forest, desperate men more than real criminals, Gorim had thought, when a human armed with a rusty dagger and dressed in worn-put leather armour had rushed towards him. He had shouted out a warning, given the man a chance to run away. The human hadn't taken the chance.

The fight had been over soon. There had been only a couple of injuries among the guards, and one broken vase that a merchant woman had cracked over the head of a bandit trying to get into her wagon. However, the attack gave Gorim no choice but to continue travelling with the caravan. The thought that there might be real bandits in the woods, and that Soras and Alyssa might be in danger, forced him to continue. It wouldn't take him that long, he told himself, and besides, his lady was with the Grey Wardens, and could certainly take care of herself.

When they reached Lothering, it turned out they had been lucky. There were many bandit groups roaming the area, and an earlier merchant caravan had been almost completely wiped out. Of course the bandits weren't Lothering's biggest problem. The refugees were. They were pouring in to the village, ready to trade with what little they had carried for anything to eat. The caravan had meant to stay only for a day. It had stayed for three days already.

"Sometimes I don't understand humans," Soras muttered as he watched a human merchant charge silver for carrots. He had little to offer the hungry refugees, since you couldn't eat steel, at least not in the common meaning of eating, but as long as the caravan stayed, so did they.

"But it's not so different from the way things are in Orzammar?" Alyssa asked, adding another lock to their money chest. She had been born on the surface, but both her father and uncle had talked about the caste system, and the lack of sympathy towards the casteless.

"I guess not," Soras said, drumming a lid of a chest absentmindedly. "It's just so easy to forget what it was like there, when it's so different here." He loved the surface. He loved the feel of unity that the surface dwarves had. And he loved the way they could get new blood among them in rather surprising ways. "Speaking of Orzammar, have you seen Gorim?"

"That's not a very smooth change of subject," Alyssa said dryly, trying to stop herself from smiling. "Why do you ask?"

"I thought you'd like to invite him to join us for supper again," Soras said, not even trying to hide his grin when a blush crept on Alyssa's cheeks. "A very good young man, that one. But troubled. "

"He keeps asking about the army. The Wardens. And Ostagar," Alyssa sighed. "You should've seen his face when the first rumours came of the army falling. It was…"

"So he hasn't told him who it is he fears for so?" Soras said. It was unlike his niece not to find out almost everything about everyone she met, but, Soras thought, it probably was different if your interest in a person ran deeper than mere curiosity. "A relative? A friend? Something… more?"

"Uncle, I really don't know," Alyssa sighed. Why was it that the moment she found someone who truly interested her, he had to be the most secretive man she had ever met? Although she wished she could help, it felt like Gorim had wounds that she could never heal, no matter how much she tried. "I think that…" her voice faltered and Soras turned to look the way she was staring.

An elf was staggering towards them. His clothes were torn and covered in blood, and his face was pale. He almost fell down, but managed to hold his balance. Soras hurried towards him, since it was obvious that the humans around them were not going to help the man. The elf almost collapsed against him, but he was so light that it was easy for Soras to help him sit on a small stool outside their wagon.

"Where are you coming from, friend?" Soras asked as friendly as he could, while Alyssa hurried to them with a bottle of water and a glass.

"Friend?" The elf's eyes were wild and darting around, his voice something between a whisper and a hysterical scream. "No friends. Leaving, leaving. Leaving them to die. The blood all around, and I knew they would find me and I knew I would die. And they didn't and I didn't and I ran. I ran so fast and so long and…"

"Easy," Soras said, handing the elf the glass. He took it, but it fell from his shaking hands and shattered to the ground.

"It's fine, I'll get another glass," Alyssa said, when the elf stared at the shards with a look of despair on his face.

"Ostagar," the elf suddenly whispered and Alyssa froze. Soras leaned closer to the elf.

"You were in Ostagar?" he asked slowly, and for the first time the elf looked straight at him.

"Yes. Where they all died."

"I'll go find Gorim!" Alyssa was already running as she shouted the words to Soras, who turned to the elf and handed him the whole bottle of water. The elf took it and stared at it for a while before realizing he could drink. It seemed to Soras he was not fully there, but still watching the battle at Ostagar.

…

"The darkspawn just came, out of nowhere. There was nothing and then they were there. And I ran and I hid. I hid under the house for hours and everyone was screaming and screaming and I just wished they would stop. And then it was quiet and I came out and there were all the bodies. The things they had done to the bodies, oh sweet Maker! The things they had done…And the blood, on my hands, I tried to… I can't wash it off, I can't!"

The young human female stared straight in front of her, but it was clear to Gorim that her eyes were really staring into the past. She had come from some farm near the Wilds and had run in her bloodstained clothes to Lothering. Now she just sat there, near the Chantry, repeating the same words to anyone who would stop to listen. Gorim didn't think she ever ate, and she certainly didn't sleep. How could she sleep, when she had nightmares even when awake?

The army that had left Ostagar, led by Teyrn Loghain, had passed through the village and left behind rumours and truths that not all believed. Despite the doubts, one story was repeated as the ultimate truth. At Ostagar, the king had fallen because of the Grey Wardens. The Grey Wardens had failed the king and paid for their crime when they died alongside him.

"Teyrn Loghain did what he had to save at last some of the men!"

"Without the retreat, everyone would be just as dead as the king!"

"The plan was made by the Grey Wardens and it failed!"

""The Grey Wardens failed the king!"

"The Grey Wardens killed the king!"

"The Grey Wardens are traitors!"

With every conversation he heard, Gorim felt his heart sink lower. He had kept hoping for at least one person who had actually been there, who could tell him that the rumours were all wrong. That he could find someone who had been there, who could tell him that there were survivors. But everyone was just repeating what they had heard from someone else, and he was no closer to the truth. And he didn't even know if Lady Aeducan had been there. Should he head to the place anyway, see if she was a survivor? Or should he look for Grey Wardens elsewhere? He didn't remember when he had last felt so uncertain.

"Gorim!" He turned to see Alyssa hurrying towards him, her cheeks flushed. "You need to come, it's… There's an elf!" she said as she stopped next to him. "He's hurt. And he said he was in Ostagar."

"Where is he?" Gorim asked. His blood felt like it had turned into ice. This was his chance to find out the truth, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"By our wagon. He's… He's not well," Alyssa said. Gorim had gone pale and the look on his face frightened her. He looked like a man whose life hang on the thread, and Alyssa wasn't sure what hearing the elf's story, provided the elf could actually tell anything, would to do Gorim.

"Thank you," Gorim said, touching Alyssa's hand, and rushed towards the wagons. Alyssa watched him go, afraid of what would happen. She couldn't believe that she had fallen for a man she had only know for such a short time, and she was almost certain nothing could ever come of it. She didn't know why, but she felt that the story of that elf could change everything.

As Gorim ran towards the wagons, thoughts were flying across his mind. What if she was dead? What if he had failed his lady? He kept the King's letter on him, and at times it felt like it was burning his skin through his pocket. He needed to take it to his lady. He needed to find her and fight once again by her side. It was his duty. And if she had been at Ostagar, and had fallen, and he hadn't been by her side…

"He's calmed down a bit," Soras said as Gorim reached him and the elf, who was staring in front of him. The look on his face was almost the same as the woman's outside the Chantry. "He said he was a servant at the army camp. Saw the battle."

"Can you tell me what happened?" Gorim asked, sitting next to the elf. The elf looked up at him, slowly, like trying to make out who, or what, he was.

"They died," the elf said. "Some escaped. But those who stayed and fought, they died."

"Was there a dwarf? A young woman?" Gorim asked. Soras, standing close, tried not to look like he was listening, but then he realized that Gorim was so concentrated on the elf's words, that he wouldn't notice anything short of a darkspawn attack.

"A young… The Warden? Yes. She was nice to me. Talked to me," the elf was staring somewhere into the past where everything was still fine. "Talked to me like I was… someone. She was nice."

"Did she tell you her name?" Gorim asked, although how many dwarven Wardens could there be? But if there was any hope, he needed to hold on to it.

"It was pretty. Like her," the elf sighed. "She was nice to me. And now she's dead. All the Wardens, they said they would fight at the king's side. They know how to fight the darkspawn, you know. But not this time. So they all died."

"Are you sure she was there? And what was her name?" Gorim asked, gripping the elf's arm. The touch seemed to wake him, since his eyes focused on Gorim's.

"Who can be sure of anything? There was blood and bodies and as soon as I could, I ran away from my hiding place. But they said the Wardens would fight beside the king. So she must've been there. Unless she ran away. "The elf's laugh was dry and humourless.

"But what was her name?" Gorim said, gripping the elf's arm tighter. The elf didn't seem to feel any pain. Or perhaps he simply didn't care about little pain anymore.

"Kaehlyn. A pretty name for a pretty dead girl," the elf said and then started laugh hysterically. "Pretty name, really pretty. All dead now."

Gorim let go of the elf's arm and got up, although he wasn't sure whether his feet could support him. All the Wardens had been at the king's side. And she wouldn't have run away. Not Lady Aeducan. He tried to speak, tried to say something to Soras who was staring at him, but there were no words. He turned and started to walk away, all the sounds of the village blurring into a background noise. He couldn't make out anything, just that there was sound where they should be complete silence.

…

"The caravan is leaving." Gorim looked up to Alyssa, who was smiling nervously. "Uncle says you can ride in our wagon. Are you… are you coming?" she asked nervously. Gorim stared at her, like trying to understand what she was saying. He had been sitting on the old stone road for hours, staring into nothing, and to have someone real in front of him, instead of memories, was strange.

"I don't…" he started to say and stopped. What could he do? Find her body? See how she had died at the hands of the darkspawn? Try to reach her and die too? He deserved death, he knew that.

"They say there are more bandits around than before. And there may be darkspawn as well," Alyssa said. "We could use help."

Gorim stared at her and got up, slowly and shakily. He had failed his lady. He deserved death. But if he could save someone else… If he could protect the people who had been so friendly to him when they didn't need to be… It wouldn't redeem him, but perhaps he could do some good before his death.

"Yes," Gorim said, not looking at Alyssa. "I will come with you."

…

Note from the writer: Thank you to my friend who asked me to clear up a few things in this chapter and to add some serious angst. The following chapters won't probably have so much of it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Unlikely Companions**

_Kaehlyn_

"Looks like someone got you a gift," Alistair said, and Kaehlyn turned to look at Hobbes, who was wagging his stumpy little tail and holding something in his mouth. She reached down a bit and took a saliva-covered ball of yarn from the dog's mouth. Hobbes barked happily and she patted his head.

"Good boy, now I can… Make a very messy scarf?" she ventured and Hobbes barked, barely able to stand still. She stuffed the ball into her pack, because throwing it away would've hurt the dog's feelings, and then glanced around.

"Morrigan went to frighten the merchant some more. He had some ingredients she wanted," Alistair said, but his voice wasn't as disapproving as usually when he spoke of Morrigan. "That guy deserves to be turned into a frog. Charging high prices from poor refugees!"

"Should I be worried that you agree with Morrigan's actions?" Kaehlyn asked and Alistair grinned at her.

"Don't worry, it won't happen again. The natural order is restored. Look," he said, taking a more serious tone, "are you sure about taking Leliana with us?"

"I don't know," Kaehlyn said. The encounter with the woman had been strange, and the story she had told even stranger. What were the odds that someone who wanted to help them just happened to be in the village they came to first? And the reason she wanted to help was because she had had a vision… It didn't make sense, but would she have helped them kill some of Loghain's men just to betray them later? Well, based on Kaehlyn's experience with the politics of Orzammar, that was actually quite likely.

"We do need the help, but… You believe in Maker as well, don't you? Do you believe that it's possible to have visions and be sent to help someone?" Kaehlyn asked. Despite her doubts, she had liked Leliana almost instantly, the same thing as with Alistair. She shouldn't have. She had liked, no, loved, Bhelen, had thought that her little brother was on her side, and then he had betrayed her. She wasn't sure if she should trust her ability to judge people.

"Sounds like you don't," Alistair answered and then sighed. "Who knows what's possible these days. It's a funny old world, after all."

"Funny indeed," Kaehlyn said, sighing at her memories, and scratched Hobbes' head. The dog had been nudging her hip, desperate for attention. "You're just a big softie, aren't you?" she asked and the dog whined disapprovingly, but then wagged his tail.

She has been surprised to see the dog running towards them on their way to Lothering. It had escaped Ostagar and come searching for her, and had warned her of the approaching darkspawn. She hadn't believed in this bonding thing at first, but it seemed that she was stuck with the animal. And it wasn't a bad thing at all. The animal was fierce in battle, but very nice to lean on when resting. And he kept bringing her gifts, even though not all of them were very useful.

"I'm sorry it took so long, I had to say my goodbyes. And… There's an elf, I took care of him for a couple of days. He's lost his mind, poor thing. I had to make sure he would trust the sister who now looks after him. " Leliana had appeared from the Chantry and walked to them, looking a little sad and carrying a lute and a huge bag. "I can leave some of these things behind if there's too much," she said as she noticed how both Alistair and Kaehlyn looked at her things. "But the lute comes with me," she added with a little smile.

"It's fine," Kaehlyn said. "Did you ask about the prisoner?" She didn't know why, but the Qunari in the cage at the edge of the village had touched her. He may have been a murderer, in fact he admitted that he was, but he didn't seem like one. The grim determination with which the Qunari was willing to face death… Kaehlyn had spent enough time around warriors to respect that.

"They don't intend to kill him. They'll just leave him there. And if the darkspawn come, he'll still be in that cage," Leliana answered, her voice disapproving.

"That's Chantry's mercy for you," Morrigan said. She had returned from the merchant with enough ingredients for quite many poultices and poisons, and hadn't had to pay anything, so she was pleased. Not pleased enough, however, to not speak her mind.

"We need to get him out," Kaehlyn said, before the situation evolved into an argument. "He can help us."

"I agree," Morrigan said. Kaehlyn had been quite surprised that she had instantly supported the idea of freeing the Qunari, but she had realized that there was more to Morrigan than met the eye. She only hoped it was easier to find. Morrigan had told very little about herself and spoke rarely, apart from arguing with Alistair over the smallest things. It must've had something to do with him being a former Templar and her being a mage, Kaehlyn had thought. She knew little about mages and Templars, but enough to realize the relationship was very strained indeed.

"You need to talk to the Revered Mother, then," Leliana said. "But I don't think she'll be willing to let a murderer go."

"But she'll be happy to become a murderer when she leaves him to the darkspawn," Morrigan muttered, and Kaehlyn had to agree with her, even though she didn't say that out loud. She looked at Hobbes, who had started digging the ground.

"Stay here and don't dig too deep. I don't think the Templars will appreciate a huge hole in front of the Chantry," she said and Hobbes barked happily. She had the nasty feeling that the bark meant that when they came back, there would indeed be a big hole, as big as he could dig while they were gone.

"You're going to invoke the Right of Conscription?" Alistair asked as they walked into the Chantry. Kaehlyn turned to look at him, surprised.

"I had forgotten all about that," she said. "I… We can use that, can't we? Strange."

"Well, we're the last two Wardens in Ferelden at the moment," Alistair said, and Kaehlyn could see the pain flashing in his eyes before he hid it under a smile that reached his eyes. "Strange is what we do best."

"Let's see if we can reason with her without it first," Kaehlyn said, and tried to ignore Morrigan's derisive snort at the word 'reason'.

…

"This is appreciated," Sten said as Kaehlyn handed him a two-handed sword she had gotten from a bandit on their way to town. "It would be difficult to help you without a weapon." Something flashed in his eyes, but it was so sudden that Kaehlyn wasn't sure if she'd imagined it.

"The armour is a bit battered, but that's the best we can do for now. Not many merchants in town. Apparently a caravan stopped here some days ago, but of course they had already left," Kaehlyn said and watched as the Qunari started to put on the breast plate. He was gigantic and it was a tight fit, but it protected him better than the rags he'd been wearing. Kaehlyn realized she missed the armour she'd had in Orzammar. It had been her grandmother's and it had been altered a bit to fit her perfectly. Getting well-fitting armour on the surface when you were a dwarf and a woman… She had discovered it wasn't that easy.

"Yes. Some of them came to see me," Sten said calmly. There was something about his voice and way of speaking that intrigued Kaehlyn. Then again, she found so many things on the surface intriguing and interesting and strange that listing them all would take a very long time. And time was something she didn't have.

It had been surprisingly easy to convince the Revered Mother to free Sten after Leliana had spoken on his, or rather Kaehlyn's, behalf. It didn't mean that Kaehlyn still fully trusted the human, because there seemed to be something she was hiding. Kaehlyn was not keen at secrets at the moment.

"If we leave that way, we can head to…" Alistair was saying and pointing to the road, when they heard a scream. And Kaehlyn felt a strange tingling in her spine.

"Darkspawn," she and Alistair said almost at the same time. "Sten, get that armour on and follow!" Kaehlyn shouted at the Qunari, while Alistair was already running towards the road. Leliana had her bow in her hands in seconds, and even Morrigan, who had been leaning against the wall, looking half asleep, was running after them. The dog rushed to her side and she felt strangely at home. Running towards battle with people she could trust. At last she hoped she could trust them. She had known them for such a short while, but at that moment they were all she had on the surface.

On the road, two dwarves, dressed in ordinary clothes, were hiding behind an overturned wagon, as a group of darkspawn approached. Morrigan was casting a spell and suddenly Sten was at her side as well, carrying the huge sword like it weighed nothing.

"Let's get them," she said and couldn't help but smile as one of the darkspawn took a step forward, waving its sword. This was what she had trained for. This was something she was good at. She had her shield in one hand and her sword in other. That was all she needed.

…

"It's good that you came by when you did," the village elder said. The villagers had gathered to drag the dead darkspawn into a pyre that was already lit outside the city. They wasted no time in getting rid of the things that frightened them most, Kaehlyn thought. Too bad they didn't know how to fight against those things. "We owe you."

"They certainly do," Morrigan muttered, rubbing a stain off darkspawn blood on her robes.

"You need to let it soak for a while, it'll come off then," Leliana said, then giving Morrigan a little smile. "I assume you have some other clothes with you. If not, I have a very nice shirt you could borrow, although it covers a lot more than you're used to covering."

"They seem to be getting on well," Alistair chuckled as the village elder wondered off and Morrigan retorted with a comment about Chantry robes and the people who wore them.

"You're on Leliana's side, I imagine?" Kaehlyn grinned. "Please, try not to rile Morrigan too much. I don't want her start slinging spells at you. You could warn Leliana as well."

"I think you should do that," Alistair said. "After all, you're the one from her visions."

"You're not going to let that go, are you?" Kaehlyn asked and then turned to look at a young human woman, who had approached them, but stopped, looking uncertain. "Can I help you?" she asked, realizing that the words came out more regal than she had planned.

"My name is Sophia," the woman said, wringing her hands. "You… You stopped all those darkspawn, so I was hoping you could help me."

"How?" Kaehlyn asked. She felt like she was back in Orzammar, where everyone approached her carefully and took forever to get to asking her for something, since she was a princess and they didn't want to offend her in any way.

"I work as a waitress in Dane's Refuge. My family lives in a farm. It's about three day's journey from here. I've been saving up money so that they could head to Denerim and rent a small house there. My father hurt his leg and can't work on the farm, but he's talented with woodwork and could get work in Denerim. But my parent and two little brothers can't afford to move yet. So…"

Sophia explained about her family's situation and Kaehlyn felt like shaking the woman and telling her to get to the point. People in Orzammar had usually showered her with compliments and then asked her for a favour. Sophia seemed to be adamant on telling her life story.

Of course, Gorim had been there. He had made sure that people didn't bother her with trivialities and had taken care of all those little things that weren't suitable for a princess to waste her time on. Although she had appreciated his help, now it felt like it had been better if she had been forced to listen to people more.

Thinking about Gorim wasn't good for her. It made her miss him, and Orzammar, and the time when everything had been fine. She once again hoped he was fine, and that she could find him. Despite Alistair, and Hobbes, and even Morrigan, and Leliana and Sten, who she still knew very little about, she felt very alone. None of them could understand what it felt like to stand under the sky and far away from the Stone. Gorim would. She needed someone who would.

"So if you could take this money to them and tell them to leave as soon as possible," Sophia said, looking at her expectantly. Kaehlyn glanced at Alistair, who nodded, and then at Hobbes who was looking at Sophia and wagging his tail. Clearly he liked her.

"We can do that," Kaehlyn said. The young woman was so worried, and the darkspawn threat was real in the area, so her family would be safer in Denerim. She couldn't say no. "Don't you want to leave with them? We could escort you there safely."

"No, I can't leave," Sophia said unhappily. "The innkeeper gave me my wages in advance so that I could send them to my family. I need to keep my promise and stay here. You can tell my family that I will come to join them in Denerim in three weeks' time. So, you will help me?"

"Yes, we'll take the money to them. If you're sure you don't want to come," Kaehlyn said. She didn't know why, but she felt like Sophia should be united with her family, not left alone in Lothering. "How much did the innkeeper pay you, we could pay him and you could be with your family."

"You want to spend our money on paying her wages?" Sten asked. Kaehlyn had noticed the Qunari approach, he was hard to miss, but hadn't thought he had been listening. "This woman has made a deal, she should respect that."

"She should be with her family," Kaehlyn said, more sharply than she had intended. "At least she has one," she added, feeling suddenly very tired. The Qunari watched her for a moment, and then shrugged.

"Of course you must do what you see fit," he said. Sophia was staring at them, clearly frightened of Sten. Who could blame her, Kaehlyn thought, he had killed people.

"He paid me 30 silvers. I can't possibly accept your offer, you've done so much for Lothering already," Sophia said. Kaehlyn almost let the issue drop, but something forced her to keep going.

"Look, the village is full of refugees and soon things may get ugly. You have a family and they need you. And this will just be a loan. You can pay me back some day, "Kaehlyn said.

"Trust me, if she lends you money, you will have to pay her back. So you should take the deal," Alistair said, and Kaehlyn almost wanted to hug him. He winked at her and then turned an honest smile to Sophia, who clearly was struggling with her thoughts.

"Very well. You have no idea what this means to me, my lady," she said, and Kaehlyn almost scowled at the words.

"Just Kaehlyn, please," she said. "We'll be leaving tomorrow morning. We can go settle your debt with the innkeeper now, and then we'll come and get you tomorrow."

"We should set a camp outside the village," Alistair said. "It's a bit crowded in here."

"Good idea. Could you take care of that?" Kaehlyn asked. "I'll go and settle Sophia's affairs and join you then."

"Can I tell Morrigan it's her turn to cook?" Alistair asked, grinning, and Kaehlyn couldn't stifle a giggle.

"Go ahead. But tell her that this time she has to light the fire like normal people do. No spells that accidentally spread a little further and almost start a fire."

"But it was fun watching her try to put the flames out from her bag," Alistair said, his voice deceptively sad. "Fine, fine. Taking it easy on Morrigan, I promise."

"Humans and dwarves…" Sten muttered as he followed Alistair towards Morrigan and Leliana, who seemed to have reached some conclusion about getting bloodstains from clothes.

"Come on, boy", Kaehlyn shouted, and Hobbes pounced to her side. "Let's go make sure you get to your family," she said to Sophia and followed her back to the village.

…

Note from the writer: I don't know what's going on with me and names. I named a young girl Sophia because it felt like a nice name, and then went to Dragon Age forums and saw a discussion with the name Sophia in the heading. Apparently there's someone called Sophia in Warden's Keep (which I don't have yet, so I didn't read any further). Well, no law against having more than one Sophia in the world. And this is another "let's pick up characters"-chapter, next one should be more inspired and original.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Night at Camp**

_**Gorim**_

"You're still awake. When's the last time you really slept?" Alyssa's voice was reprimanding as she stopped next to him, carrying a plate in her hand. "I brought you something to eat, but clearly you need sleep more then you need food."

A part of Gorim knew that she was right, but another part of him knew with equal conviction that he couldn't. He had tried in the previous nights, but closing his eyes brought forth all the thoughts and memories and he tried very hard to ignore. He had only fallen asleep after his body had simply given up and ordered his body to shut down, but he had woken up after only a few hours sleep every time.

"If you go on like this, you'll die," Alyssa said, sitting down. He didn't look at her, but he could imagine the look on her face. In the past few nights he had learnt to know that expression, and learnt that it meant she was worried. He didn't want her to worry for him, since he didn't earn it. She expected him to say something, but what was there to say?

"Fine. I'm going to give you two options. Either you talk to me, tell me why you're trying to kill yourself, and maybe find some peace, or then..."

"I'm not trying to kill myself," Gorim said, and Alyssa snorted dismissively.

"You're not eating well and you're not sleeping. Of course, I was mistaken. You're clearly using some warrior's method of _almost_ killing yourself and then finding hidden reserves of strength to help you exceed in battle. Silly me, I should've known," Alyssa finished by slamming the plate down on the log next to Gorim. "You men are so stupid. Keeping everything inside until it destroys you. Or someone close to you."

"Shut up," Gorim said, regretting the words the instance they came out. That was not the way to talk to a woman, especially a woman who had shown him nothing but kindness.

"I will, but it means you need to start talking," Alyssa pressed on. She had spent enough nights worrying about Gorim, watching the man wander around the caravan camp and looking like a walking dead during the days. "Right now. As long as you keep the thing that's eating you inside, it... Well, it will keep eating you," Alyssa said, annoyed that the sentence had gotten away from her a little.

"Talking won't change a thing. It won't change the past," Gorim said, almost startled at the weariness of his own voice. Was this what he had become, a husk of the man he once was?

"Talking won't change the past. But it can change the future. It can change you. Help you," Alyssa said calmly.

Gorim didn't know what to say. He looked up at Alyssa, who was staring at her with determination that he had last seen in Lady Aeducan's eyes. The situation had been different, but the look had been the same. It had told Gorim that there were no paths but the one before them. And Gorim knew that the woman was right, to share his guilt and his pain.

"In Orzammar, I was in the service of a noble family," Gorim started slowly. "One from that family came to the surface, went to Ostagar with the Grey Wardens."

"And the Wardens fell in Ostagar," Alyssa said, when Gorim fell silent. "I'm sorry."

"Yes." Gorim was still staring ahead. "And she wasn't someone who would've run away from the field of battle."

"She?" Alyssa couldn't help herself; the question slipped out before she could stop it. "Oh, were... Were you and her..."

"What?" Gorim asked, blinking and turning to look at Alyssa. Now it was her turn to avoid his gaze. "No," he said, surprised that she had asked the question. The whole idea was so strange. He had been in Lady Aeducan's service, had been her second. Of course there had been a couple of warriors who had, after having a drink too many, asked him whether he was enjoying the perks of his job as a woman's second. Although he had never trained in duel combat, he had met both of those warriors in the Proving Grounds and shown them what was the price of slandering the name of House Aeducan. Of Lady Aeducan.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... It's just the way you've been behaving, I thought..." Alyssa knew she was digging herself even deeper, but couldn't stop herself. Perhaps it goes with being a dwarf, even though she had been born on the surface, she thought, the strange notion almost making her giggle. She realized she was nervous. Talking to Gorim was like moving on thin ice, never quite knowing what even the smallest step could cause. As a little girl, she had loved walking on ice, enjoying the mixed feeling of fear and happiness.

"She was a good woman. And a... friend," Gorim said, wondering if he had ever actually called Lady Aeducan his friend before. In Orzammar, it really hadn't been appropriate, and even though Lady Aeducan had called him "my friend" on more than one occasion, he didn't think he ever had called her the same. It had always been "my lady". "And I failed her."

"What the stories in Lothering told..." Alyssa said, taking Gorim's hand, "is that the darkspawn overwhelmed the army. Even if you had been there, do you think you could've made a difference?"

"I... No," Gorim said, the truth hurting more than he could've imagined. "But I still should've been there."

"Then you'd be dead now. But you're not. And there must be a reason you are alive. Perhaps the Ancestors decided that it wasn't your time yet. Or the Maker," she added.

"The Maker?" Gorim asked. "You believe in the human god?"

"No, not really," Alyssa said. "But who knows? Maybe He believes in us. Even if they say he's gone. I don't think that's possible. Why would all those people pray for Him if He was gone? I've learnt it's good to keep an open mind," she said, shrugging. Then she realized she was still holding his hand, or perhaps he was holding hers. She got up, pulling her hand free carefully.

"Eat. And sleep. And tomorrow you'll still be hurting, but maybe, as time goes by, you'll hurt little less each day. Good night."

"Thank you," Gorim said quietly. Alyssa smiled at him and then walked away, wrapping her red shawl around her shoulders to guard against the chilly night air. Gorim took the plate she had left and realized his hands were shaking. He closed his eyes and drew a breath. He couldn't go on like this. He had chosen to go with the caravan, chosen to protect all those people. He had a duty. He had failed his duty before, he wouldn't fail again. It was time to be the best he could, and honour Lady Aeducan's memory in proving to be worthy of remembering her.

_..._

_**Kaehlyn**_

It was dark. And then there was a vast hall made of stone. Like Orzammar, but partly in ruins, maybe a lost part of the Deep Roads. And below her, darkspawn. More than she could count. And above her… She didn't want to look, she could feel fear gripping her body, running through her blood, she wanted to just curl up so that everything would go away… But she looked up. Straight at the dragon. It strained its neck and screamed. It was a sound like nothing she'd ever heard before. She tried to run, tried to do something, anything, but all she could do was to stand and watch the dragon spread its wings, scream again, and swoop down…

She woke with a little scream on her lips, just barely stifling it. She felt sweaty and cold, and as she rolled to her side, she saw Alistair sitting close by, watching her with a sympathetic look on his face.

"I heard you trashing in your sleep and thought I'd come to see when you woke up. You dreamed about the darkspawn, didn't you? And the archdemon."

"It... it felt so real," she muttered, rubbing her temples and sitting up. It had also hurt, or then the headache was merely a coincidence.

"You learn to control the dreams after a while. Block them out," Alistair said. "But until then... I'm sorry, but you just need to be prepared for some nightmares."

"Well, at least I'll know what kind of bad dreams I'll be having," Kaehlyn said, attempting to smile. "They won't be a nasty surprise."

"That's the spirit, find the good side to everything," Alistair said laughing, and then rubbed his chin. "That girl, Sophia... What do you think her whole story is? I mean, 30 silvers as wages... Sounds like she did more than just some simple cleaning and serving tables."

"Whatever she did, I think she did for her family," Kaehlyn said. "In Orzammar, things like that... Well, as long as you appear to be honourable, you can do almost anything. My brother had..." she stopped, the memory of Bhelen's actions suddenly filling her mind. It was strange how easy it was to forget what Bhelen had done, and to remember only the little brother who had followed her around and asked her to play with him when he got a new wooden sword.

"Well, people in Orzammar did either what they wanted to or had to, depending on their caste," Kaehlyn concluded.

"I had hoped Duncan would've taken me to Orzammar with him," Alistair said, sadness in his voice clear when he said the fallen Warden's name. "It sounds like a fascinating place."

"It is. And beautiful," Kaehlyn said, remembering the stone halls, beautiful buildings and masterfully carved statues of the Paragons.

"How did you actually meet Duncan? He... he didn't tell me, said the past didn't matter," Alistair said, sounding hurt.

"It doesn't," Kaehlyn said. What could she say? That she was actually a dwarven princess, betrayed by her brother and exiled to die? "I'm sorry, but I don't want to..."

"I understand," Alistair said. "The past is sometimes best left behind you," he added, and then turned to look at Sten, who was walking towards them.

"Someone's coming," the Qunari said. "Probably not an enemy."

"How do you know?" Alistair asked, and the Qunari gave him a look that conveyed a range of emotions from exasperation to amusement.

"The enemy usually doesn't approach with oxen and a cart with a squeaking wheel," Sten said, and Kaehlyn couldn't help but laugh. Alistair gave her a look that was too hurt to be real.

"Fine, make fun of me," Alistair said. "Don't come to me running for help when darkspawn come pouring out of the cart."

"I'll go see what's going on," Kaehlyn said. "If it's not a darkspawn attack, the two of you should get some sleep. I'll take the next watch."

She walked towards the approaching cart and recognised the two figures guiding the oxen.

"Well met again!" Bodahn Feddic greeted her as she reached them. "I heard you had left and... Well, me and my boy thought about things and realized that travelling with you might be a good idea. You're more than able to fight off darkspawn and being around you seems pretty safe. You would get a good discount from our wares, naturally."

"Then you're welcome to come along," Kaehlyn said. She hadn't had a chance to talk much to the merchant in Lothering, since he had been in hurry to see what he could salvage from his battered stock. "But are you sure you'll be able to do enough trade if you're with us?"

"Well..." Bodahn said, looking only slightly embarrassed. "Since you seem to come across darkspawn and other creatures that have belonging no one will miss, I thought we could pick up the things you don't need. And you'll be bound to end up in villages as well, where we can trade."

"Sounds good," Kaehlyn said. Having someone who could take care of supplies would take that responsibility from her. She had tried to convince Alistair that they should lead together, but the human had been more than happy to give her all the responsibility. "We'll leave tomorrow towards Denerim. We need to take this young girl to his family. And apparently there's a village near-by, so you can restock there. But for now... You think you might have an armour that might actually fit me?" she asked with a hopeful smile. Bodahn sized her up for a moment, and then nodded.

"You'll have to do with those boots and that chainmail, but I think I can find a better breastplate to be fitted and some gauntlets. Oh, and if you find any runes, my boy Sandal can do some pretty impressive enchantments."

"Enchantment!" the young man exclaimed and Bodahn laughed. "That's right, my boy. You can do some enchanting for this fine lady. Now, let's see about that armour..."

...

Kaehlyn sat by the fire, listening to the sounds of the forest around them. Morrigan was still awake, but concentrating on a huge tome, so Kaehlyn hadn't wanted to disturb the mage. She still had a slight headache, but she felt calmer than when she had woken. Sten and Alistair, after greeting Bodahn and Sandal, had gone to sleep. Leliana had slept through the whole thing, and even Hobbes had returned from his rabbit hunt in the woods and curled down next to the fire at her feet. She absent-mindedly scratched his head and then looked at the sky. There were no stars in sight because of clouds, but she still stared at the dark sky, amazed at how quickly she had come accustomed to it.

"Can I sit with you?" Leliana had appeared from her tent and walked up to her. "I thought that I would sleep like a baby in the woods, away from the noises of the Chantry, but it turns out too much silence can wake you up as well."

"Of course, sit down," Kaehlyn said and smiled at the woman. She enjoyed listening to her voice, that interesting Orlesian accent. Growing up in Orzammar, she'd only heard a couple of different accents when ambassadors from human lands had visited, and had been fascinated by the way they spoke. "Tell me... I don't know much about the Maker or... well, anything to do with your religion and the Chantry. Could you tell me something?"

"I could tell you about Andraste," Leliana said. "The prophetess. Do you know anything about her?"

Kaehlyn shook her head and Leliana smiled, cocking her head a little. It seemed like she listened to words coming from far away and then started to talk in a soft voice. Kaehlyn listened to the story of a woman who had sacrificed all and been betrayed fighting for something she believed in, while staring at the dancing flames of the fire. And soon it was morning.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – Unexpected Meeting**

_**Kaehlyn**_

"I don't understand how this helps you in your quest," Sten said. He was walking alongside Kaehlyn, glancing every once in a while at Sophia and her family. "You already helped the girl to her family, which set us back two days. And now you're wasting even more time taking them to that village."

"It's because the trade caravan will probably still be there," Kaehlyn said calmly. "Sophia and her family can travel to Denerim with them. It'll be safer than just hiring a wagon and travelling alone."

"But this doesn't help your cause," Sten continued, his brow furrowing. "It's waste of time."

"You're a warrior, right," Kaehlyn said. She had learned that the Qunari was a proud man, who disliked frivolous things. Like Leliana offering to braid his hair with some colourful ribbons tied in. That conversation hadn't gone well. So Kaehlyn had decided that appealing to his sense of honour might do the trick. Reading people and manipulating them… Trian would've been proud of her, instead of telling her she wasted her time training in battle.

"Yes," Sten's voice was flat, and the look on his face told her she'd better not try to challenge the fact.

"Aren't warriors supposed to protect the people? I mean, we don't exist simply to charge blindly into battle. We have a purpose," Kaehlyn said, watching the Qunari closely.

"To protect all the people. To make sure that the majority of the people will still live. Being a warrior doesn't mean escorting one family through the whole country."

"Yes, well, I think it does. And besides, when we reach the caravan, we can get some supplies. Bodahn's wares were a bit limited after that darkspawn attack."

Sten was quiet for a moment and then glanced at her almost shyly: "I don't suppose… Do you think that the caravan might have some… What's the word? A little like bread, crunchy but sweet. Small, round things," Sten explained, almost squirming inside his armour.

"Do you… Do you mean cookies?" Kaehlyn asked. That was the closest thing she could think of, and Sten's face lit up.

"Yes. Cookies," he sounded cheerful, then coughed and regained his ordinary composed voice. "Yes. I think they're… Quite nice. For human food."

"We dwarves eat them too," Kaehlyn pointed out, hiding her grin. If she'd had to guess a way to please Sten, getting him cookies wouldn't have been her first, or probably even twentieth, guess. You could never tell with people. "But I think they would have. Or at least someone in the village will probably sell cookies."

"Good," Sten said, then looked shy again. "I mean, it's not like I… You can buy them or not, it's no concern to me," he finished and then glanced around. "I'll go and see if… um… Leliana needs some help with… Something."

"Alright," Kaehlyn said, and waited until the Qunari had walked to the red-haired woman before starting to laugh.

There was only a short walk to the village left, and then they could continue with their original plan of heading to Redcliffe and going to see Arl Eamon. Alistair seemed both eager and nervous to go there, and Kaehlyn was wondering whether it was a good idea to ask the man more about the Arl. Alistair's cheerful demeanour hid a different side of him, she was certain of it, and she felt like Arl Eamon had something to do with it.

"Yes, Trian would be proud," Kaehlyn sighed at Hobbes, who had appeared at her sight and whined sadly at her words. "Don't worry, boy. I'm fine. We just need to get to the village. And maybe if I think you've been good, I could buy you a nice big juicy bone."

Hobbes barked happily and hopped around her, also waiting eagerly for reaching the village and getting the bone his nice mistress had promised him. Of course he'd be good.

…

_**Gorim**_

The caravan left the village and each step that took Gorim further away from Lothering and the road to Ostagar filled him with mixed feelings. Guilt and shame, they were the ones he knew, but there was also a strange sense of relief. Talking to Alyssa had helped, even if he hadn't believed it would. He still slept uneasily, but at least he slept. And Alyssa…

There was something about the woman that made it very easy to like her. In fact, there were many things about her to like. And Gorim had been around enough to know that she was interested in him. He felt flattered, but it was.. It was too strange. He had been able to talk to her about Lady Aeducan, although he hadn't told her everything. She had made him feel better.

She was a good woman. She was a marvellous woman. And Gorim knew, in fact he had no doubt, that if he had met her under different circumstances, he walk to her straight away and ask her to marry him. But now there was something stopping him. He didn't know what it was, but it was there, at the back of his mind, gripping his heart, telling him he couldn't do it.

If only he knew what it was.

…

**Kaehlyn**

"The caravan has just left," Alistair said. "But it was only a couple of hours ago, we should be able to catch them if we hurry."

"You really don't need to…" Sophia started to say, but Kaehlyn shook her head.

"We promised to get you to the caravan, and we will," Kaehlyn said. "We just need to hurry up. It'll be better for you to be with the caravan."

"I really can't thank you enough." Sophia smiled at her and Kaehlyn smiled back, feeling strangely relieved she had persuaded the young woman to leave Lothering.

They walked at a quick pace, helping Sophia's father and little brother as well as they could. Finally Sten picked up the young boy, who was more than thrilled to be getting a piggyback ride from the Qunari. Kaehlyn was quite impressed at the way Sten ignored the boy's cheering, and truly astonished when she saw a flicker of smile on his lips.

Then she stopped, her heart pounding and a strange sensation spreading through her body. Alistair had done the same, and she knew what waited ahead.

"Darkspawn. You need to hide. Stay here, be completely quiet, and don't come out until you believe it's perfectly safe." Kaehlyn gave the instructions to Sophia's family while the rest of the party prepared for battle. She hoped Bodahn hadn't stayed in the village, since he would've had some weapons for the family. They had no experience with weapons, but they deserved a chance against the darkspawn. Now that they didn't have one, it fell to Kaehlyn to make sure the darkspawn would not reach them. She saw, Sten patting the little boy on head before joining the rest of them.

"Perhaps this is suitable for a warrior," the Qunari said to her, gripping his sword. Kaehlyn nodded and then motioned everyone to move. The closeness of darkspawn made her feel queasy, but also strangely strong. She reminded her that she should talk with Alistair about what it was like for him, but that would have to wait for later. It was once again time for battle.

…

_**Gorim**_

The darkspawn had appeared from nowhere, suddenly swarming around the caravan. Gorim grabbed hold of one trying to climb into a wagon, threw it onto ground and sliced its throat before it had a chance to climb up. But even more were coming, and the guards were no match for them.

Gorim turned to see a darkspawn rushing his way, huge axe raised up, when it suddenly faltered and fell down with an arrow on its back. And that's when Gorim realized they were not alone in the fight anymore. The darkspawn noticed it too, turning to face this new threat that had appeared, quite like them, from nowhere.

Gorim had no idea where the people fighting the darkspawn had come from, but they had appeared just in time, attacking the darkspawn with no fear. There was a gigantic man, or at least Gorim thought he was a man, but he could've been anything, who swung a two-handed sword with ease and sent two darkspawn heads rolling. He could see a human female, standing a little away and flinging spells at an amazing speed. Next to her stood another woman, with a bow, her arrows flying accurately at the darkspawn. A human man and a huge animal, he thought it must've been a dog, were in the middle of the fight along with the giant, and then there was…

Gorim froze, barely able to block a darkspawn sword swooping towards him. He thrust his sword into the darkspawn's gut and shouldered the body aside, his eyes still fixed at the figure fighting a tall darkspawn. Her blond hair was flowing as she moved, looking like she had been born in battle. And in a way she had. She struck a darkspawn down and turned, stopping as she saw him.

"Gorim?" He could see her mouth his name, her face lighting up with an astonished smile. He couldn't believe it. She was dead. He had seen her dead, in his dreams, waking with the horrible knowledge that he would never really see her again. And now she was there, in the field of battle, with a darkspawn rushing up to her.

"My lady!" he shouted, but she had heard the darkspawn coming and turned in time to block a hit that would've taken her head off.

Kaehlyn almost fell over at the power of impact, but struggled to keep her balance and managed to knock the darkspawn back. It lounged back at her, as did two others, but then Gorim was at her side, and she almost forgot they were battling for their lives. When she turned, she knew he would cover the side she left vulnerable. Fighting became like a dance, flowing so easily since she was with someone who also knew the steps. A parry, a thrust, a move to the left, a move to the right. It didn't matter what she did, she could trust him to follow. To be there.

And then the fight was suddenly over, the last of the darkspawn taken down by Morrigan's spell. Kaehlyn looked around and then at Gorim, who was staring at her with a strange expression on his face.

"Gorim," she breathed out his name, then inhaling sharply as she put weight on her left leg. She hadn't realized the pain in the midst of battle, but suddenly it flashed through her entire body.

"You're hurt," Gorim said, moving to her side. Although he still couldn't believe she was there, she was alive, there was no denying it. She was there. And she was hurt. That was all that mattered at the moment.

"Just a little cut," she muttered, and then the animal was there, growling at Gorim, baring its teeth.

"Hobbes, it's fine. Good boy," Kaehlyn said, and the dog came to her, allowing her to lean on him. "This is Gorim. He's a friend. He's not going to hurt me."

"That looks nasty," Alistair appeared at her side, looking at Gorim inquisitively before turning his attention back to her. "Maybe Morrigan can…"

"All out of spells," Morrigan said, walking to them and rubbing her temples. "Next time, try not to attack the largest darkspawn horde around. Sneaking around them works just fine. I've got a horrible headache."

"Kaehlyn! Oh, are you alright? I was so worried!" And then there was Leliana, followed by Sten. Kaehlyn looked at Gorim, wondering whether she should try to make introductions or simply fall down so that the pain might go away.

"Gorim!" He turned to see Alyssa running towards him. She was still carrying a crossbow, but dropped it when she got to him and flung her arms around his neck. Alyssa realized that the man was wearing blood-covered armour, and still holding his sword and shield, but those things didn't matter to her. "I was so… You were marvellous! Oh…" she stopped, her eyes falling on the strange woman and the humans with her. She stepped back, giving Gorim a shy smile and suddenly realizing what she had done.

"You came just in time, my lady. Thank you," Alyssa said, looking at the woman and avoiding Gorim's face. She could feel her cheeks redden, and tried to calm herself down.

"It's… nothing," the woman said, watching her with a puzzled look on her face. "And it's simply Kaehlyn."

Gorim realized that the words were directed to him as much as they were at Alyssa. Simply Kaehlyn, not Lady Aeducan. He wondered if he was supposed to introduce Alyssa, since the woman had been hugging him and therefore Lady Aeducan would assume he knew her.

"A pleasure to meet you. I'm Alyssa." Alyssa saved him from introductions, but then looked at them both. "You seem to know each other."

"Yes," Kaehlyn said, wondering how much she could tell without revealing who they were and why they were on the surface. Or had Gorim already told the woman things about his past? About her? "We do," she concluded and felt like an idiot. And then she remembered the pain, which had subsided for a while, but chose that particular moment to return. Hobbes whined and moved closer to her, giving her more support.

"You need to sit down, I'll look at the wound," Leliana said, starting to rummage through her pack. "Alistair, help her down." If there was one thing Kaehlyn had learned about Leliana, it was that she was good person to have around in sticky situations. She could keep calm and give orders like a general. A general with an Orleasian accent and quite often a flower tucked behind her ear, but a general nevertheless.

Gorim watched the humans help Lady Aeducan, feeling strangely out of place. Alyssa was also standing there, looking almost equally lost, and then Soras ran to them, followed by the caravan leader and some merchants and guards.

"Thank you so much, my lord!" the caravan leader exclaimed, looking at the human male, who blinked, looking surprised.

"Like he was a lot of help," the mage muttered. "She's the one you want to thank," she continued, pointing at Lady Aeducan, who was sitting on the ground with the animal at her side and the red-haired woman pulling off her boot.

"Alistair, you take the glory," Kaehlyn muttered and almost screamed as Leliana accidentally pressed her wound. Bodahn had found her a good breastplate, but sadly the chainmail and leather boot combination didn't offer the best protection from darkspawn blades when it came to her legs.

"Just a flesh wound," Leliana said, pulling out a cloth and pouring something on it. "This may sting." It did. Kaehlyn closed her eyes, trying to calm her breath. She listened to voices that sounded like they came from a distance.

"I don't know how we can thank you enough, we would've stood no chance against the darkspawn."

"Um, it's nothing really. Could you let go of my hand now, I can't feel it anymore?"

"Oh, look at the state of my wagon! Those beasts!"

"Never mind about your wagon, people have died here!"

"Well… I had some pretty nice things in there, that's all I'm saying."

"Excuse me, miss, but your outfit, it's very, um, becoming. You don't suppose that you'd like to celebrate this victory with me somewhere more private?"

Kaehlyn's eyes flew open as she, as well as the rest of her group, all turned to look at Morrigan and the young guard who had spoken to her. The mage was staring at the man like he had crawled from under a rock, her hands gripping her staff and her mouth starting to open, when Gorim stepped between them.

"So sorry, my lady," he said, bowing his head to Morrigan. "A hit to the head, I'm afraid." He gripped hold of the guards arm and yanked him aside, even though the human was quite tall and muscular. "First rule of survival; don't talk like that to mages. Go help them tend to the wounded and be very grateful that you're not among them after that."

Kaehlyn smiled, admiring once again Gorim's ability to read situations and move in just at the right time. He had done so many times in Orzammar, saving her, or more often someone being rude to her, from situations that could've ended nastily. Then she looked at Leliana, who was watching her with a smile on her lips.

"A friend of yours, I gather?" Leliana asked, glancing over at Gorim. There was something in Leliana's smile Kaehlyn quite couldn't understand, but then again, she did have a wound on her leg and felt a little disoriented.

"Yes, we…" Kaehlyn gasped as Leliana started to wrap a bandage around her leg. "He's from Orzammar, like me."

"Did you hear what he said? 'Tis not something I should tolerate!" Morrigan walked up to them, anger streaming off her every word. "He deserves more hits to the head!"

"Men are idiots, ignore them" Kaehlyn muttered, then looked at Gorim who was standing near, staring at her with a strange look in his eyes. "Well, maybe not all of them."

"My…" Gorim walked to her, swallowing the word 'lady' just in time. He tried to think of something to say, but all words seemed to escape him. "I thought you were dead," he finally said, very quietly. Kaehlyn watched him, surprised at the emotions in Gorim's usually calm face.

"I'm alive," she said, smiling. "That's a good start, isn't it?"


	9. Chapter 9

Note from the writer: I really struggled with this chapter and I'm still not quite happy with how messy it turned out to be, but I've decided to post it anyway so that I can get the story to move forward. I might rewrite this chapter (or bits of it) some day, so comments and ideas for improvement are most welcome.

And happy new year, everyone!

...

**Chapter 9 - Goodbyes**

Alyssa leaned on the wagon, staring at the commotion all around her. People were repairing wagons, picking up their belongings, caring for the wounded, piling up the bodies... There were a lot more darkspawn bodies than others, but it could've been very different.

Alyssa eyes were drawn to the two figures sitting together on the grass next to the road. She had known it the minute her addled mind had realized that there were other things in the world than Gorim and her feeling of happiness and relief. A woman, a warrior, standing there with bloodstains on her armour and looking like what Alyssa had imagined female Paragons might look like when she had been young and listened to her father's stories. And Gorim had barely taken his eyes off her.

Alyssa knew she had been stupid to fall for a complete stranger so quickly, and so completely. She knew it would hurt very much for a while, but she would get over it. It wasn't much of a consolation at the moment, but it helped a bit.

She couldn't help but smile sadly as she watched Gorim and Kaehlyn. He had told her they were friends. Maybe he believed that. But Alyssa had seen his eyes when he had spoken about her, and she had heard all the tones in his voice that he probably knew nothing about. There was duty and friendship, but... Perhaps she was imagining it, but she feared she wasn't.

"Are you alright?" Soras had walked to her. She smiled at her uncle, who seemed to always know exactly what she was thinking and feeling.

"Not yet, but I will be," Alyssa sighed. "I'll miss his company."

"As will I," Soras said and then hugged her. "But perhaps it's better this way."

"It is," Alyssa said and watched as Gorim handed Kaehlyn an envelope, which she opened slowly. Then she turned away. There were wounds to be bandaged and all kinds of things to do before they could continue their journey.

...

"From my father?" Kaehlyn asked and took the letter. She realized her hands were shaking a bit and almost dropped the envelope. She opened it and took out a single piece of paper. It wasn't in her father's handwriting, apart from the signature, which was crooked and messy.

"He must be very ill," Kaehlyn whispered, then read the lines. She recognized Lord Harrowmont's handwriting, but in the words she could hear her father's voice.

Gorim watched her read and blink a few times. She was fighting back tears, he thought, and it seemed strange. He couldn't remember if he had ever seen her cry. And it was clear she was trying very hard not to cry now either. The dog, Hobbes, Gorim reminded himself, walked up to them and nudged her, whining.

"Strange thing," Kaehlyn said, scratching the dog. "They say that when the mabari imprint on you, they become a part of you in some way. He seems to know whenever I need some cheering up. Or dead rabbits. Although I don't remember ever realizing I need the rabbits, he just keeps bringing them anyway," Kaehlyn added, smiling a little. She folded the letter and put it back into the envelope.

"He also sent you the Shield of Aeducan. It's in... Soras' wagon, I'll go get it," Gorim said, starting to get up, but Kaehlyn stopped him.

"No need to hurry," she said. "Look, I've told you everything that's happened to me since.. since Orzammar, but you've barely told me a thing of what you've been doing. Making friends, at least," she said, and hated the slightly condescending tone in her voice. Was she really going to start acting all spoiled princess-like because Gorim hadn't spent his time wandering around Ferelden all alone? It was absurd.

"Not much to tell, my lady," Gorim said, and then noticed the look on her face. "I'm sorry. Shouldn't call you that anymore."

"It's easier if you don't. Saves the trouble of explaining things," Kaehlyn sighed. "I know so little about my companions, and I don't actually know how to tell them that I used to be a princess."

"Are a princess," Gorim said, and Kaehlyn laughed.

"Tell that to the Shaperate. Tell that to Bhelen. No, not a princess anymore. A Warden. It's not what expected, either," she sighed. Gorim nodded. He had been shocked when she had told him about the ritual, telling him he shouldn't repeat what he'd heard to anyone.

"But you are avoiding my question," Kaehlyn said, looking straight at him. "Don't think I don't remember you trying that many times."

"I didn't..." Gorim started to protest, but she interrupted him.

"Yes you did! Whenever there was something you didn't want to talk about, you somehow made the situation all about... well, everything else. I mean... They seem like good people," she said, and Gorim glanced the way she was looking, at Soras who was standing near his wagon.

"They are," Gorim said, giving in. "They were friends to me even when they needed not to be. Even when they didn't know me."

"Perhaps they simply saw that you are a good person," Kaehlyn said, smiling. "I've discovered that on surface, that is enough for some people to help you." It's so different here," she added with a sigh.

"I have to admit, I was wrong about the surfacers," Gorim said after a while. "In some ways they are better than the people in Orzammar."

"Perhaps in every way," Kaehlyn added and Hobbes whined again, resting its head on the ground next to her and looking at her expectantly. "He's just begging for food. Well, you deserve it after being so brave, yes, you do!" she said, scratching Hobbes, who wagged his tail lazily. Then she gazed at Gorim, who was almost grinning.

"What? Alright, maybe I shouldn't talk to a war hound like its a pet, but once you get to know Hobbes, you'll know he's just a big softie," Kaehlyn said, smiling at Gorim and petting the dog, and then realized what they hadn't yet talked about. "I mean... I shouldn't just assume you're coming with me. You have these new friends that..."

"Of course I will come with you," Gorim interrupted her. The idea that she thought he wouldn't... Why would she think that? Or did she not want him to come? "I wish nothing more than to serve you again."

"No!" she said sharply. "I'm sorry, my friend, but no more talk about serving. You are a good man and you could have a good life here on surface. You deserve that. And I'm no longer a lady who needs someone to serve her, so that is not why you should come with me. But..." she tried to find the right words, "I really need a friend. And I would be honoured if you would come with me and fight by my side."

...

"What do you think that's all about?" Alistair asked Leliana, gesturing towards Kaehlyn and the other dwarf. The bard grinned and finished packing her bag.

"I believe we are going to have one more companion on the road," she said, getting up. "What is that saying you have in Ferelden? 'The more, the merrier?', I think."

"Is she planning on taking along every single dwarf that comes our way?" Morrigan asked disdainfully, but she too was watching Kaehlyn more closely than she might have wanted others to notice. "Oh, what does that fool want now?" she added, looking at the caravan leader who was approaching them.

"Excuse me, my lord," the leader said to Alistair, who tried to ignore Morrigan's derisive snort at the words. "We have lost guards and we were hoping... Could you escort us back to the village? We need to hire more guards and I'm sure there are able young men there who wouldn't mind earning some extra money to help their families."

"Just say yes, she won't mind," Leliana said when Alistair glanced over at Kaehlyn. "We're going back to the village anyway."

"You want Alistair to make decisions all by himself?" Morrigan asked, false pity rolling off every word. "Careful, he might feel light-headed after all that thinking."

"Yes, we'll help you," Alistair said, very carefully ignoring the mage. The caravan leader looked a little unsure, but then smiled and nodded.

"We'll be ready to leave soon," he said and walked away. Alistair glared at Morrigan, but said nothing. Leliana gave him an encouraging smile and turned her attention back to the two dwarves still talking, a mysterious smile still on her lips.

...

Alyssa watched the caravan leader talking to some young men from the village. It wasn't easy to get people to become guards, especially since the reason they needed them was that they'd lost guards to the darkspawn. But she was certain that the man was offering them an amount of money that would help their families, so refusal was not likely.

"Excuse me. Alyssa, wasn't it?" Kaehlyn has walked up to her and was smiling. Alyssa had to force a smile, even though without the woman's help she would probably be dead.

"Yes. My uncle is already trading with Bodahn," Alyssa said. "So if you want any equipment, you should talk to him."

"Oh, it wasn't..." Kaehlyn sounded a little surprised and Alyssa wished she could've hid her annoyance better. But no matter how she wanted to hide it, she felt like she was looking at the woman who had the chance to get everything she couldn't, and being friendly wasn't easy.

"I just wanted to... talk," Kaehlyn said, smiling nervously. "You've lived your entire life here and I... I just came here and... I could use some advice."

"Advice?" Alyssa asked, hardly believing her ears.

"It's ridiculous, I know," Kaehlyn said. "I don't know how things work here. And I've mostly met humans. There's Bodahn, but he's..."

"He's mostly interested in trade," Alyssa said, a genuine smiling creeping to her face. "And you'd like to know how things unrelated to money work here."

"Yes," Kaehlyn said, laughing nervously. "What is life like up here? For dwarves, I mean. For female dwarves, more specifically."

"How much time do you have?" Alyssa asked. "It's night soon."

"We're not leaving until morning," Kaehlyn said. "And my leg is still hurting a bit, so I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep yet." She felt strangely nervous standing in front of the other woman, who was watching as if she could see right through her. There was something in Alyssa's eyes she couldn't quite understand, a sort of disappointment mixed with curiosity, and that look made her nervous.

"Then we'd better find a nice place to sit, then," Alyssa said. She wanted to hate the woman, or even despise her, but she couldn't. She couldn't hate someone who was standing front of her, looking so nervous about asking for advice about ordinary life after killing hordes of darkspawn. She could only be curious. And a part of her wanted to know that it wasn't a mistake letting Gorim go without a fight, and talking to Kaehlyn was the best way to do that.

...

The sun had crept up to the sky and was trying to cast its rays despite of the clouds blocking its way. Gorim walked towards the caravan slowly. Making the decision hadn't been as easy as he'd thought. What Kaehlyn had said about not needing someone to serve her had made him think. No matter how he had secretly laughed at the politics and rules of Orzammar, they'd existed and he'd followed them. The freedom from them was strange, and despite his common sense made him almost nervous at times.

Of course she'd been right. She was no longer a princess and he was no longer a knight. And she certainly wanted him to treat her like an equal. But part of him wondered if he could ever truly be her equal, or whether he'd always see her as the princess. It had been so easy with Soras and Alyssa, accepting them as equals and treating them like equals. He still struggled with not calling Kaehlyn 'Lady Aeducan'.

All in all, he wasn't certain if all the history they had would ever allow them to be anything but a princess and her obedient warrior. If they could ever be equals in the true sense of the word.

"So, are you leaving?" Alyssa appeared, smiling a little. The girl he would've asked to marry him if things had been even slightly different. A part of Gorim wanted to give in to the inner voice that told him this was his chance to be happy and to find someone who he could love and who would love him back. It would be so easy, going with the caravan, learning to know her even better, until one day he could...

"Yes," he said and Alyssa nodded, and then hugged him, very briefly, blushing as she pulled away.

"Whenever you're in Denerim, come to see us," she said and then pulled out a small packet. "This is for you. But don't open it yet."

"Thank you. But when can I open it?" he asked, weighing the packet in his hand. It was very light.

"When the situation is right," Alyssa said, shrugging. "When you think you need some beauty in your life."

Gorim was going to ask more, but Soras walked to them and shook his hand, telling him to come and visit just as Alyssa had. Gorim nodded and exchanged some last words, promising to come and see them and thanking them for all they'd done. Suddenly the goodbyes were over and he was walking away, feeling sad and happy at the same time.

Lady Aeducan... Kaehlyn, Gorim corrected his thoughts as a smile crept on his lips, was talking to the human, Alistair, gesturing towards west. The dog was by her side, wagging its tail happily. The other humans and the gigantic man, a Qunari called Sten, Gorim had learnt, were waiting by the merchant's wagon. They were all waiting for him.

And Gorim was looking forward to travelling with Kaehlyn. No matter how their history had assigned roles for them, he wanted to find out what kind of change the future could bring.


	10. Chapter 10

Note from the writer: Sorry about the long break. First life got in the way of writing, then Mass Effect 2. Oh, Garrus, you almost lured me away from Gorim! Well, back to dwarves , at least for a moment. This chapter is still sort of a transition chapter, but things should get going soon. And I've always had problems with grasping Leliana's character, but I think I'm settling for "Orlesian all-knowing and all-seeing cupid" in this fic.

...

**Chapter 10 - Road to Redcliffe**

Gorim had thought he had learned enough things about the surface and the people living there, but the people Kaehlyn had chosen to travel with were... Constantly surprising. Gorim could respect the qunari, Sten, because even though the giant hadn't spoken to him much, it was clear he was a formidable fighter. The mage worried Gorim. There was something about the woman that he didn't trust, and moreover, he didn't have enough experience fighting against magic-users, apart from some darkspawn. If the woman turned on them, he wasn't sure how she could be stopped.

"Deep in thought, I see," Leliana appeared at his side. "Sorry, I hope I didn't disturb you."

"No, you didn't," Gorim said. Leliana was possibly even a bigger mystery than Morrigan to Gorim. The woman seemed cheerful, but sometimes she watched him with a strange expression on her face. She seemed to watch everyone, in fact, including Kaehlyn.

"What do you think they're talking about? They seem to spend quite a lot of time talking, but then again, they probably have a lot to talk about. With planning and everything," Leliana said innocently. Gorim glanced at her and then looked around the opening.

They had stopped along the road to Redcliffe. Bodahn had said he would rather not go to town with all his stock. The reason he had given Kaehlyn had been something in the lines of "trouble follows you around and I'm not going to risk everything I own before I know the town is safe, no offence". Gorim followed Leliana's gaze and saw Alistair leading Kaehlyn away.

He had tried to like the other Warden. He was likable, although it was clear that some of his cheerfulness and sarcasm was a way to protect himself. Gorim had encountered that in dwarven warriors who had gone through horrible ordeals in the Deep Roads, or who were in some way not certain of their skills. They would find various ways to hide their true feelings, their true selves, so that they couldn't be hurt.

Gorim had to admit that he had sometimes done the same. There had been moments when he had hid behind words to hide his real thoughts and feelings. Like when he'd been assigned to Kaehlyn's service. He had done his best to hide his disappointment and doubts, only to discover that there had been no reason for them.

Yes, Gorim could understand Alistair's need to hide his true self. That still didn't mean he liked the Warden, even though he felt he had no reason not to.

...

Kaehlyn leaned on a tree, watching Alistair, who shuffled uneasily on his feet for a moment before finally drawing a breath.

"Damn, this is not easy. Look, I didn't want to tell you this, because... Well, I should've told you, but... This will probably come up when we talk to arl Eamon, so it's best that I tell you now."

"Alistair, calm down," Kaehlyn said. "What is it?"

"Look, it's about my parents. Or about my father, really. My father was... well, King Maric."

"I'm sorry, your father was the King?" Kaehlyn said, surprised. Then again, she thought, why was she surprised? A bastard prince and an exiled princess seemed as likely a team to face the darkspawn as any other duo. "Why... Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Well, it's not something that you can just drop into conversation," Alistair said. "And I.. I guess I wanted you to think of me as just Alistair. Not a bastard prince. People always treat me differently when they find out and I wanted you to… Well, like me for who I am," he finished, and Kaehlyn was certain she could see him blush a little.

"What about your mother?" she asked, still smiling at Alistair's words. She was trying to think of a way to tell Alistair about her father being king. He deserved to know.

"My mother was a servant at the castle in Redcliffe. She died while giving birth and I was raised up in the castle, until… Well, that's a story for another time. My lineage was kept a secret because people feared I would be a threat to Cailan's throne. I don't want the throne! Don't have anywhere to put it. Anyway, it's bound to come up, so you deserve to know. And you can tell everyone else, if you want. Rather you than me facing Morrigan with this information," Alistair finished, looking at her nervously. Kaehlyn couldn't help it, she started to laugh, and Alistair's expression wavered somewhere between surprised and annoyed.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at..." Kaehlyn drew a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "I just thought that the world is a very strange place. You're a prince, I'm a princess."

"What?" Alistair's brow furrowed and Kaehlyn had to admit he looked rather adorable.

"King Endrin is my father. I'm... Well, I was a princess. But my younger brother framed me for the murder of my elder brother and I was exiled. And believe me, I can understand that it's not easy to drop something like that into a conversation."

"Wow, that's... Quite a coincidence," Alistair said, almost grinning. "Is Gorim some kind of royalty too?"

"No," Kaehlyn said, smiling sadly. "He was my second-in-command. And because he was loyal to me, he was exiled too. He's from the Warrior Caste. You know about the dwarven castes?"

"I tried to study the basics of them, but it all feels a bit too political for my tastes" Alistair said, shaking his head. "Well, this is interesting. No wonder you weren't keen on going to Orzammar to get help. But... don't you want to see your father again?"

"I do," Kaehlyn sighed. "He became ill when I left. I just hope he's fine. I can't believe that Bhelen would kill him as well, but if he's very weak... I worry for him."

"Bhelen.. That's your brother?" Alistair asked and Kaehlyn nodded.

"My favourite brother. I always got on better with him than with Trian, my elder brother. Trian was strict and stuck on traditions. Bhelen was always the one I could talk to and he really cared about the future of out people. I sometimes thought he'd make a better king than Trian. I never told him that. And then he..."

"It's ok," Alistair started going through his pockets and only when he handed her a handkerchief Kaehlyn realised she was crying. She took the handkerchief, wiping her eyes and then giving Alistair a quick smile.

"I'm sorry, I haven't... I really haven't had a chance to talk about this. Well, with Gorim, but... I don't really... I can't cry in front of him. I know it's insane, but around him I feel I should be strong. Damned warrior training," she muttered, blowing her nose.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone," Alistair smiled. "And when we go to Orzammar, I'll be by your side. If that brother of yours tries anything, he'll have a... Well, something unpleasant shoved up something very unpleasant indeed."

"Thank you," Kaehlyn laughed. "Now, let's get back to the others and then head to Redcliffe. Shall we go, my prince?" she added with a smile. Alistair glared at her, but the laughter in his eyes didn't really make his glare believable.

"Right behind you, oh fair princess," he retorted, and Kaehlyn chuckled. Talking had helped, it felt like something had been lifted off her shoulders. Somehow it was important that Alistair knew who she was. They were Wardens, and even though she didn't quite understand that bond, she felt like they should trust one another completely.

...

"Are you alright?" Gorim asked as Kaehlyn walked to him. She smiled a little and glanced back at Alistair, who was going through his pack. Something about that smile and that look made Gorim shift uneasily.

"I told Alistair about what happened in Orzammar," she said, not quite able to interpret the look that flashed across Gorim's face. Surprise, disappointment, something else? "He... He told me he is the illegitimate son of the late King Maric. I felt it was not fair for me to hold something like that back. But don't tell anyone else about his father. Not yet."

"I understand," Gorim said, avoiding her eyes. "Are we leaving soon? Your dog rushed after a rabbit into the woods over there."

"Yes, he likes to do that," Kaehlyn sighed. "Tell everyone to get ready, I'll be right back." She hurried after the dog and Gorim walked to join the rest. Alistair nodded at him and Gorim forced himself to acknowledge the nod. He felt stupid. Of course it made sense that Kaehlyn had told Alistair, it was important to know the people who you trusted with your life, so Gorim had no reason to be annoyed or disappointed. Perhaps he still had some problems adjusting to the group Kaehlyn had gathered around her. That had to be it.


	11. Chapter 11

Note from the writer: Sorry for the long pause between chapters. Real life is not nice. Sadly, without paying some attention to it, I wouldn't be able to pay the bills, so... Yeah. Circle Tower and interesting dreams coming (hopefully) soon. Thank you for the reviews and faves, I really appreciate them. :)

...

**Chapter 11 – Night of Blood**

The town of Redcliffe waited for nightfall. They had arrived and had been taken to meet Bann Teagan, the arl's brother, who had told them of the events taking place in town. After agreeing on a plan to defend the town the following night, there had been little to do except wait for nightfall. Kaehlyn had split the group in two, telling Alistair to stay in town with Leliana and Sten, in case some of the creatures attacking the place would find their way past the first line of defence.

The first line of defence, consisting of Kaehlyn, Gorim, Morrigan and Hobbes, although everyone had taken to calling him "the dog", as well as some worried but determined soldiers, were gathered higher up the hill, ready to block the swarm that would come from the castle.

Gorim still didn't trust Morrigan, but he was relieved she was with them. If the creatures truly were undead, or some kinds of spirits, magic would probably work well against them. Better than the prayers that the priestesses in the Chantry had promised to say. Gorim had thought that if the prayers had any effect, the town wouldn't be in the state it was. Clearly this Maker didn't either exist, or simply didn't care that his followers were in need. Gorim had no time for that type of beings, supernatural or not.

Kaehlyn looked at the horizon, where the last rays of the sun were losing to the darkness creeping onward. She turned her eyes to the Redcliffe castle, which looked somehow even more imposing than it had earlier. She tried to suppress a shudder running down her spine.

"You know, for some reason I can't help thinking about the stories about restless ancestors wandering along Deep Roads and coming to drag away all the dwarven children who didn't do what they were told," she said to Gorim, who was standing by her side. Gorim looked at her for a moment and then chuckled.

"So you were told those stories too," he said. "I didn't think that the nobles would be inclined to those methods of raising children."

"I had a nanny who knew more scary stories than I think is good for a person," Kaehlyn replied, smiling at the memories. "Trust me, after a couple of those stories I was the epitome of proper behaviour. Until my mother heard her telling me one of those stories and fired her. But even after that I would always think about the restless ancestors when I was about to do something bad," she finished.

"When I was a boy, my mother sometimes had to tell them twice a day. And it still didn't help," Gorim said.

"Really? I can't imagine you being naughty," Kaehlyn said, grinning. "What exactly were you doing that was so bad?"

"Well, running off to look at the fighters, practising swordplay with the broom and knocking over some pots while doing it, and then when I was a little older…" Gorim's voice trailed off as he looked at Kahelyn's widening grin. "Never mind. It's not, well, important."

"Maybe not, but it's interesting," she replied. "I just… We never really talked about our childhoods, back in Orzammar. I never even realized that before. And even though we grew up in the same place, your life must've been so different. Strange," she finished, with an almost sad smile on her lips. "You know, the surface makes you think about things in completely new ways."

"What things?" Gorim asked, although he could've listed quite many of them himself. The way he'd been accepted by Soras and Alyssa had made him see the surfacers and their life in a completely new light. He'd seen himself in a new light. He'd realized that on the surface, perhaps he could build a life with a woman who… No. Even though that thought had been tempting, as tempting as Alyssa's smile, he had a duty. That was one thing that the surface hadn't changed; his loyalty to Lady Aeducan.

"All things," Kaehlyn sighed. "Here people are… freer. There are still castes, or classes, or whatever, but… It doesn't feel as strict as in Orzammar. It feels like you have a chance, you can influence what you become. Although I'd imagine that even here the rules are strictest on the noble women. Get married and have lots of babies."

"It's not what…" Gorim didn't know how to continue. Talking about marriage and babies hadn't really been a part of their everyday conversation in Orzammar, although during the last year Harrowmont had tried to find a husband for Kaehlyn almost desperately. She had merely shrugged it off and hadn't complained much, even though it had been clear that it had annoyed her.

"That's what they wanted me to do," Kaehlyn said. "Harrowmont and his candidates… Oh, that was bad. All those little speeches they had ready to impress me, and those silly gifts… Especially the nug."

"Yes, I remember the nug," Gorim grinned. "Although it was cute, with the ribbon and all."

"Yes, very cute," Kaehlyn smiled. "I think it was a good thing that Harrowmont didn't tell anyone to give me a sword or something. I might've been so shocked at the sight of a practical gift that I'd have said yes. Or maybe that would've been good. I'd be married now, and Bhelen wouldn't have had the chance to frame me for Trian's murder, since wives and mothers don't wander around long lost thaigs."

"We can't change the past," Gorim resorted to one of his mother's sayings, because he didn't really know what to think about Kaehlyn's words. Would she really prefer the married life in Orzammar to this? Why not? She'd be safe, and that was really all that mattered. Except… Would she be happy?

"No, and for what it's worth, I'm fine with that," Kaehlyn said. "Bhelen would've probably still plotted against Trian and even though I and Trian didn't get along, I couldn't have just stood aside and let Bhelen get away with it. With husband and possibly a child to think about, things could've gotten ugly. And," she said, more cheerfully," I would never had this conversation with you and learned that you were a naughty child. So, things are probably the way they should be now, even though they're far from perfect."

"If you really want to know…" Gorim started to say, deciding that he should tell Kaehlyn what other things, and one particular incident, had gotten his mother to spend almost two hours reminding him of what happened to naughty boys. But his words were cut out by horrified gasps from the soldiers with them.

"Not darkspawn," he heard Kaehlyn mutter as her eyes were fixed on the movement near the castle; figures moving forward, wrapped in eerie green glow. She had explained it to Gorim; she sensed the darkspawn, could feel their presence. And she dreamt about the archdemon. Gorim couldn't imagine why it was necessary to make the Wardens go through a ritual that did that to them and had wanted to know more about it, but Kaehlyn had changed the subject abruptly and he hadn't asked her again.

"Undead," Morrigan muttered, flexing her fingers. "Flemeth once called four of them for me to fight. She didn't warn me beforehand, wanted to see how I would handle them without time to prepare. I _hate_ the undead."

"Then make sure you hit them," Gorim muttered, not looking at the mage. Hobbes had come up to Kaehlyn and was standing on her right side, growling. Gorim took his place at Kaehlyn's left side. She had been staring at the approaching swarm, but suddenly turned to look at the soldiers behind them.

"You're fighting for the people of this town. Your loved ones," she said, speaking in a low tone. "Make sure they are safe, and that you are still here at the end of the battle to tell them that."

"Inspirational speech?" Gorim asked as Kaehlyn turned back. "Weren't you against them in Orzammar?"

"People change," she said. "That was pretty bad, but I'm learning."

"Stop chatting, here they come!" Morrigan's last word was almost drowned out by the crackling from the lightning she send at the first skeleton warrior that had run into sight, and the blast send its bones scattering, as well as hitting the two skeletons following it. The archers sent their arrows flying and Kaehlyn looked at Gorim.

"Surely we can take out more skeletons than a mage?" she said with a grin, and Gorim nodded. And then the skeletons were close enough for the true battle to begin.

…

"They're coming out of the water! They're in town!" A cry from one of the archers at the back made Kaehlyn swing around, while Gorim decapitated the skeleton that had been lunging at her.

"Morrigan, get down there! There aren't many here left!" Kaehlyn shouted the order and turned around in time to block a blow from a skeleton that had gotten past Gorim, who already had two skeletons to worry about. Hobbes pulled one of them down, ripping of its legs. Kaehlyn couldn't help but think, even in the middle of the fight, that skeletons probably were Hobbes' favourite enemy. "You two, accompany her!" she added to two soldiers, who followed the mage. Kaehlyn concentrated on the remaining skeletons, which were coming at them almost desperately, as if someone commanding them couldn't believe they were losing. Someone had to be commanding them, someone at the castle. Kaehlyn was very worried at what they would find there, and what had happened to the arl. And how Alistair would react if the news were bad.

"We'll keep an eye on the castle, if any more of them come. You go see what's going on in the town!" Ser Perth shouted to Kaehlyn as the last skeleton fell. She nodded and started to run towards the town, Gorim by her side and Hobbes a few paces ahead of them. She almost stopped as she saw the scene in the town square; the undead were pouring towards the militia and her companions, almost more that had come down the path from the castle.

"Looks bad," Gorim muttered and then Morrigan's spell sent three skeletons collapsing into heap of bones. "She's effective, I'll give her that," he said as the rushed into the battle, surprising some skeletons that had had their backs turned. He could see one of the militiamen fall and other one, seeing his friend fall, knocking off the head of the attacking skeleton with such a blow that it would've gotten standing ovation at the Proving Grounds.

"More coming," Kaehlyn shouted and knocked one skeleton down with her shied while chopping other one's arm off. "Morrigan!"

"I can only cast one spell at a time!" the mage replied, docking behind a pillar as an arrow fizzed towards her. "It would help if you'd stop them from attacking me!"

"Make sure she's safe," Kaehlyn shouted to Gorim. "I can take of myself!"

Although he wanted to object, he didn't. It was a battlefield, and when she gave a command, he followed it. He moved to the mage, making sure that no skeleton got close to her and blocking arrows heading her way with his shield. The spells she sent flying just above his head made him nervous every time, but they were helping them, win the battle. And then it was over.

…

"Alright, I could almost take care of myself," Kaehlyn muttered and then winced as Leliana started to cleanse the wound on her arm. "That damn skeleton came out of nowhere."

"You'll be fine," Leliana said. "And you two should sit down so that I could take care of your wounds," she added to Gorim and Alistair, who'd been hovering over, or in Gorim's case, slightly under, her shoulder.

"When she tells you to do something, it's best to do it," Kaehlyn said, clenching and unclenching her right hand, which had taken a nasty blow as she'd barely blocked an attack by a surprisingly big skeleton. Nothing broken, she was glad of that, but it still hurt.

"You make me sound horrible," Leliana laughed, and touched Kaehlyn's shoulder lightly. "Now, you're good, or will be if you don't run off to fight something right away. Now, Alistair, I'll start with you. Come sit here," she led the human to an empty crate and motioned him to remove his armour so that she could clean the wound on his side. Gorim turned to look at Kaehlyn, who was leaning on the wall with her eyes closed.

"I don't suppose Morrigan will ever thank you, so I'll do it on her behalf," she suddenly said, opening her eyes and flashing him a little smile. "You two work together quite well on the battlefield."

"I hope it was just this once," Gorim said. "I don't trust her. There's something… not right about her."

"Well, she was raised in a forest by a woman who, if legends are to be believed, is the most powerful witch ever and had lived for centuries. Not the most normal childhood one could have," Kaehlyn said. "Sit down, you look like you could fall any minute," she added, and it was in a tone that Gorim knew not to argue with, so he sat down next to her. He hadn't been hurt badly, just a little nick on his hand from an arrow and a couple of hits that would probably turn his skin blue in a couple of days' time.

"Now, talking about childhoods, I believe you were about to tell me about being a naughty child," Kaehlyn suddenly said, grinning at him. "I'm still very curious."

"Oh, well…" Gorim wondered if he could avoid telling her the worst things he'd gotten up to in his youth. Telling her had seemed like a good idea last night, when any topic had seemed like a good distraction from the unknown enemy they were facing. When there was no danger and he would have to live with knowing that she knew…

"Oh, here you are!" Bann Teagan hurried to them, making Gorim sigh in relief. There were blood splatters on the Bann's armour but he was clearly unharmed. "Once you've rested a bit, we should really head to the castle. I fear what has gone on in there."

"Of course," Kaehlyn said, looking around. "Give us a little time to get everyone patched up."

"Very well. Meet me up by the windmill when you're ready," Teagan said and walked out. Kaehlyn smiled at Gorim.

"Looks like I'll have to wait a little longer for that story. When you've gotten your hand bandaged, could you ask Morrigan if she has rested enough? We might need her spells at the castle. I'll just rest a little."

"Of course," Gorim said and got up. He wasn't looking towards talking to the mage, but even that might've been better than telling Kaehlyn the story that suddenly felt even more stupid and embarrassing than before.

…

They stepped out of the temple into bright sunlight, which seemed to have chased away most of the threatening shadows of the night. Only a pair of men carrying a body towards the shore hinted that it wasn't an ordinary morning in an ordinary small town.

"I have to say, you're able to handle everything!" Bodahn had parked his wagon on the town square and was standing next to a tired-looking elf. "This is Nelon, a messenger we found hiding in the bushes on our way here. Took some persuading to get him to believe that it's safe."

"H-hello," the elf stuttered and waved his hand shyly. "I was afraid to come here, but your friend told me you'd taken care of the monsters."

"He had some interesting news from all over Ferelden. And the most interesting news from Orzammar," Bodahn said, walking closer. "Bad news, in fact. The King is dead."

Gorim turned to look at Kaehlyn, whose face had gone pale in seconds. Bodahn didn't seem to notice this and went on about what it might mean for the politics of Orzammar and its effect on the surface trade. Alistair had noticed, however, and the human stepped closer, his face full of concern.

"We need to go," Kaehlyn said suddenly, struggling to keep her voice calm. "We'll talk later, you can… tell us more."

"My Lady…" Gorim reached to touch her shoulder, forgetting that he wasn't supposed to call her that. She turned to look at him and for a moment he felt like she was looking through him rather than at him. Then she blinked and her eyes focused on his face.

"We need to get to the castle. We need to find out what's going on there right now," she said and Gorim could see she was blinking away tears. "This… I can't think about it right now."

"You're alright?" Alistair leaned closer. "If you need a moment we don't need to…"

"I'm fine," Kaehlyn said, a little too quickly. "Please, don't ask me that again until we've figured out what's going on in the castle. That's the most important thing now."

"No, it's not," Gorim almost wanted to say, but held the words back. If she thought that she could put her emotions aside, he needed to trust her judgement. And not think about the ache he had felt in his heart when he had looked at her empty expression moments ago.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – Tears and Memories**

Kaehlyn wasn't sure how she had made it through the arl's castle. The undead, the revelation that it was the arl's son who was causing it all… It had felt like there had been a part of her watching it all from the outside, guiding her and making sure she didn't fall apart.

Morrigan had disapproved, wanted to know why they should spend time getting help from the Circle when the arlessa had volunteered to be used in the blood mage's ritual. Kaehlyn had wanted to hit the human, no, not just hit, to knock her down to ground, make sure she felt the pain. To yell at her that she had lost her father and she was not about to make a small boy lose his mother. But that little part of her had kept it all back, guided her calmly through the conversations and helped her give the orders.

She had told the repenting blood mage, Jowan, to keep an eye on the boy. Bann Teagan had wanted to throw Jowan back in the dungeon, but Kaehlyn had stopped him. If things went wrong, she had told Bann Teagan, Jowan could stop Connor, or at least slow him down. She had told Jowan that she trusted him. She wasn't actually certain that she did, but it had felt like a good thing to say.

She ordered everyone to leave for the Tower. There was still hours of daylight left, and the sooner they got help the better. She could see Gorim looking at her with worried eyes, and Alistair tried to come and talk to her, but she kept to herself. She couldn't talk, because that little part of her told her that talking would mean breaking down in front of everyone. Breaking down and telling everyone her father was… No. It wasn't the right time. So she ordered them to head towards the Tower and they left.

They travelled fast, but were not even close to the Tower when the sun started to set, so they had to set up camp in the forest. As soon as the fire was set she motioned Hobbes to follow her. She had left her armour and weapons in her tent, but a trained mabari was quite a good weapon in its own right.

"I just… I'm just going for a walk," she said to Leliana, who had been watching her with concern in her eyes throughout the day. The Orlesian wasn't stupid, she knew that something was wrong, and probably would've been willing to listen to her, but talking felt impossible.

Hobbes whined as they walked into the forest. The mabari was good at sensing his mistress' emotions, but now it was slightly confused. His mistress smelled of sadness and pain, but was not showing it to anyone. Hobbes moved closer and looked up at her. There were tears streaming down her face and suddenly she fell to her knees, a quiet wail rising from her throat. Hobbes pushed his head into her lap and she hugged him, almost too tight. But Hobbes didn't mind. His mistress was hurting and he could help.

"He's dead," Kaehlyn muttered, her face buried in the mabari's coat. "My father is dead." Hobbes whined and then tensed as he heard someone approaching. But the approaching figure smelled familiar, so he allowed the male dwarf to come closer.

"My Lady…" Gorim didn't know what else to say and knew he should call her Kaehlyn, but somehow it felt wrong to call her by her name at the moment. Using her name felt so intimate and it made him nervous. He wasn't even sure he should be there, wasn't sure that he should intrude in her sorrow, but Leliana had basically shoved him after Kaehlyn, telling him that something was wrong and he needed to go find her.

"Please," Kaehlyn muttered, not turning to look at him. "Don't look at me. Just…"

"I'm not going to leave you alone," Gorim said, kneeling next to her. "I'm so sorry for your father."

"The stupidest thing is…" Kaehlyn muttered, her head still turned away, "that I knew this. I read his letter and I just… I just knew that he would die soon. He was saying goodbye. And still, when I heard…" Her voice broke and Gorim leaned to touch her, but she pulled away, wiping her face. He was left with his hand wavering in air only inches away from her shoulder. He pulled it back as she turned around, her face almost completely hidden by her blond hair.

"I guess this is the time to tell them," she muttered and the mabari next to her whined. "Now, how do I look?" she asked, pushing her hair back and looking at Gorim.

"You look…" Gorim stared at her. He didn't know where the word 'beautiful' had come from, but he couldn't say that, that wouldn't be right. "You look fine," he said.

"Liar," she said, grinning a little, and wiped her eyes. "Well, I guess I look as good as can be expected from someone who runs into the forest to cry. Let's go."

…

"So, what is it like to be a dwarven princess?" Leliana asked, sitting next to Kaehlyn by the fire. After telling everyone Kaehlyn had expected questions, but there hadn't been many of them. Most of her companions had already gone to bed and they were the only ones left around the fire.

"I'm sorry, that probably came out wrong," Leliana said, smiling apologetically. "I've just heard so many different stories about dwarves and the tangled web of court and politics in Orzammar. And you've lived there in the middle of all that! I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like."

"Dwarven politics is sometimes very bloody, no matter whether you're a man or a woman" Kaehlyn said. "I should know. It's not so much direct confrontations than assassinations and deals made behind closed doors. Sometimes it can feel like there's no one to trust."

"Surely it's not all that bad?" Leliana said and Kaehlyn shook her head. No, there was more. There always was more, and even though a slightest memory of her father made her heart ache, she felt comfortable talking to the human.

"Please, tell me more," Leliana said, huddling into a cosy position. "I've heard that Orzammar is an amazing place."

Kaehlyn smiled and started to talk, telling Leliana about the dangers of the dwarven court, but also of its beauty. She had almost forgotten what it had been like when her mother was alive, but as she talked to the bard, all those happy memories came flooding back. How there'd been parties and how she'd been allowed to run around the Diamond Quarter, much to the dismay of some of the older guards. How her mother had told her stories, not only of the Paragons and the dwarves, but also of the surface. Of course her mother had never been to the surface, but she'd read about it from books and learnt about it from human ambassadors visiting Orzammar. Kaehlyn didn't remember exactly what those stories had been about, but she remembered sitting in her mother's lap, or laying in her bed, holding her toy stuffed nug, until her mother's voice lulled her to sleep.

Leliana smiled and listened and asked her questions, and Kaehlyn felt relaxed for the first time in a long while. They stayed up talking very late, and when Kaehlyn finally retired to her tent, she slept through the rest of the night without any nightmares.

…

Nothing was ever easy, Kaehlyn had come to expect no less. They had travelled fast and reached the dock in Lake Calenhad, where they were supposed to get across the lake to the Tower. However, the

To get over the lake into the Circle Tower they had to bribe a templar controlling the boat. Luckily Sten had some cookies with him. Kaehlyn had made a mental note to ask him why later.

Once they were in the Tower, they found out that it had been overrun by abominations. Kaehlyn had only read a little about them; abominations were not a big concern in Orzammar, where there were no mages, but the horrified looks on the templars' faces told her enough. Then she'd probably had similar expression on her face when Greagoir had told her what the Templars were waiting for.

The Right of Annulment, the right to wipe out every single living thing in the Tower. Why was she constantly presented with options that brought only death? It took some convincing to let Greagoir allow them to venture into the Tower, but Kaehlyn knew it had to be done. She couldn't just let the people trapped inside wait for certain death. And something in the way the templar talked about the mages rubbed her the wrong way. A little like some nobles in Orzammar talked about the lower castes and the casteless.

Morrigan disapproved again, questioning the reason for helping mages who allowed themselves to be caged. Kaehlyn was almost relieved to leave her behind with Wynne's apprentices to look after the children, although she wondered if that constituted as cruelty towards children, and allowed the old mage to guide them through the tower. Endless corridors and stairs until she opened a door, stepped in, came face to face with a demon and… slept. And dreamt.

…

Note from the writer: One of those transition chapters that take forever to write and still is not that good (or to take one step further and quote the Doctor: "extremely very not good"). Next chapter is one that I'm happy with even though it's not even finished yet, so try to hang on until there. And thank you for the faves and story alerts and things, they keep raising the bar for me (which is scary, really scary).


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – Circles of Dreams**

Kaehlyn walked towards Duncan. The Warden-Commander had asked to see her, probably something about the excursion to the Deep Roads. After they had defeated the Archdemon and the Blight had ended, the Wardens had agreed to help Orzammar clean out some of the most important parts of the Deep Roads. The dwarven kingdom would regain some of its former glory. The thought made her smile.

"There you are!" Duncan greeted her with a smile. "All ready to go, are you? Now, about the…" Duncan went on and Kaehlyn tried to listen, but something kept bugging her. Why did she keep thinking about Ostagar, when they were at Weisshaupt? She'd been there for weeks now; she should remember what the place looked like.

"And the King is very grateful that…" Duncan said and Kaehlyn felt her blood turn to ice. King? But there was no king, was there? Her father… The memory was painful, and something kept pushing it back. Something tried to make her forget that her father had died. She blinked and looked around her.

She had never seen pictures of Weisshaupt, so of course the place around her looked like Ostagar. It was the place she associated with the Wardens. And Duncan… It wasn't Duncan standing before her. She could just make it out, a little blur in the lines of the man, like he was flicking in and out of the world at an incredibly fast pace.

"A wrong dream," she said, smiling to the… creature in front of her. "If you wish to give me what I want most, you should've shown me my father, alive and well. You are not real, this place is not real. So stop this."

"What are you talking about? Are you sure you're fine, you did get a pretty nasty hit on your head at the last battle?" the creature said, and sounded so worried that Kaehlyn almost wanted to believe it. She could almost remember the pain she had felt when the darkspawn had hit her. There had been blood trailing down her face and she had thought she would die, but a mage had cast a spell and she had been fine again. But maybe Duncan was right, maybe that blow had… No. It hadn't done anything to her because it had never happened.

"I'm fine. You're, on the other hand, aren't. You're not Duncan," she said. The creature smiled and drew its sword.

"I'll show you what I am," it hissed and attacked. Kaehlyn blocked its desperate strikes with her shield and drew her sword. It was almost impossible to attack the creature, because it still bore Duncan's appearance, but she knew it wasn't him. So she struck until the creature crumpled and disappeared into thin air.

Kaehlyn sheeted her sword, noticing there was no blood on it. Of course not, it was a dream realm. Or the creature had been a dream creature that didn't bleed. But the place where she'd been hit hurt. So dreams could still hurt her. It didn't matter. Now that the veil of dreams had been lifted from her mind, she could remember what had happened. And she had to find everyone else. She wasn't certain if they were in dreams or nightmares, so she needed to get to them as soon as possible. There was a glimmering portal near, so she headed towards it.

…

Gorim opened his eyes. The smell of food made him realize how hungry he was, and he tried to think when he'd last eaten. Memories on that were a little hazy, so he sat up, looking around the bedroom. Everything was clean; Alyssa hated mess and always reminded him to clear up his things. Sometimes he left something laying around just so she would start to reprimand him and he could drew her into his arms and kiss her until they forgot all about everything besides the two of them.

He walked into the kitchen and she was there, busy stirring something in a pot. When she heard him approach, she turned, smiling brightly.

"Finally you're awake! I knew you were tired, but it's almost noon!"

"Sorry, love," he said, kissing her cheek and inhaling her scent. "Can I make it up to you?"

"The kids are playing outside. You could tell them that they should clean up before coming to the table," Alyssa turned back to her cooking. "And remember, my mother's coming to take them to visit her and dad today, so tonight… It'll be just the two of us."

"Can't wait," Gorim smiled at the promises twinkling in her eyes, and walked outside. It had been strange at first, living on the surface, under the open sky, but now he couldn't think of anything he'd rather do. A home and a family, everything he'd ever wanted.

"Oh dad, just five more minutes?" his son wailed, swinging his wooden sword. "I'm about to defeat the dragon of the Horrible Swamp!"

"Sorry, can't argue with your mother," Gorim said. "Trust me, the dragon will still be there after you've eaten."

"Okay then," he muttered and rushed past him into the house. Gorim walked up the path to the large tree, because that's where he knew he'd find her daughter. She was sitting under the tree with a book in hand, eyes fixed on the page. Gorim smiled as he watched her. She looked so much like her mother, with those bright sparkling eyes and golden hair and…

Gorim shook his head. What was he thinking? Of course Alyssa's hair was dark, just like their daughter's. He looked at the girl, but suddenly it was difficult to make out her features. She looked up to him and her eyes… Their colour was nothing he'd ever seen on a dwarf, and her lips curled into a crooked smile that made him shiver.

"What's wrong, daddy?" she asked, but her voice was all wrong.

"What is this?" Gorim asked, backing away, but his back hit a wall, which was impossible, because he was on the hill, there was only the tree there, and… It wasn't the hill. He couldn't even remember what the hill looked like, or the tree, or his… daughter.

"You dwarves are so difficult sometimes!" the voice that had once been his daughter's sighed, and Gorim felt like he was falling into darkness. Something crept into his mind, like fingers running across his memories and thoughts, searching and searching until…

…

Gorim opened his eyes. He knew he'd been ordered to rest after his injury, but he was feeling much better. So he got up and dressed slowly, relieved that he would probably never have to wear armour. The Blight was over and the darkspawn would never threaten Orzammar again, not after… Something. There had been some battle that had ended it all, wiped out the darkspawn from the Deep Roads. he shook his head. It wasn't important.

There was a knock from the door and before he could answer, the door flew open and Lady Aeducan ran into the room. She was wearing a blue dress, her hair was flowing free and she looked so beautiful that he could barely think straight.

"I was just at the Assembly!" she exclaimed, running to him. "They talked about your actions in the battle against the darkspawn and they made a decision!"

"What did they decide?" Gorim asked, thinking that he should remember this, but his mind was still slightly clouded.

"They're making you a noble!" Lady Aeducan smiled at him. "Don't you… don't you realize what it means?"

"What?" he asked, eyeing her carefully. There was something in her eyes he hadn't seen before, something he couldn't quite place.

"It means we can tell Lord Harrowmont to stop looking for a husband for me," she said, stepping closer. "I've found one."

"My lady," he muttered as her hand caressed his cheek.

"I love you," she whispered and leaned closer. Her lips, by the Stone, her lips were so soft and the only thing he could do was to kiss her back. His hands caressed her hair, slipped around her waist, pulled her tightly against him. He could feel her breasts pressing against his chest, her tongue slipping into his mouth…

They fell onto the bed, hands stripping away clothes while lips met again and again. He kissed her neck and then started trailing kisses lower while she shivered under his touch.

"I want you," she breathed out. "I've never wanted anyone but you."

"I…" Gorim stopped. She was there, half-naked and beautiful. Her breasts were rising up and down at the pace of her rapid breathing, her hands were caressing his back, her eyes were promising him everything he'd ever wanted. "I can't, I…" He moved away, sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his forehead. He could feel the desire, he could feel, well, even _see_ his own arousal, and still…

"I want you," she gasped and suddenly she had him pinned underneath her on the bed, sitting on top of him and pressing her hips down so that the pressure made him groan. She started to open the strings of his trousers, but he stopped her, taking hold of her hands.

"I can't," he repeated, not certain why, not certain where the words were coming from, but certain that he needed to say them.

"For crying out loud!" she screamed, thumping her fist on the bed. "You are one of the most infuriating mortals I've met! First I give you the pretty little wife and adorable kids, and when that doesn't suit you, I give you, well, this," she indicated at her body. "And you're still hesitating! Right! Forget it. I could've made your time here so good. But instead you can just rot away here. Because trust me, darling, there is no way out."

Gorim watched as the figure on top of him started to change shape before disappearing into a shroud of black smoke and disappearing. Then the black smoke twirled all round him, engulfing him. For a moment he felt completely weightless, and then he hit the ground.

…

Gorim opened his eyes. There was no bed, no stone walls around him. He was in a barren place where everything was slightly off, like he'd been looking at everything through distorted glass. But no matter how strange it looked, it was real. Not like the things he'd seen.

He sat up, leaning against a pillar that didn't disappear as he touched it. That was something, at least. Now that he was awake he could remember the two dreams the creature had offered him. The first had been… He couldn't deny that it hadn't been what he'd thought about some nights when he couldn't sleep or had been keeping watch. What would've happened if he'd gone with Alyssa? But the second dream… Gorim shivered as he remembered the kisses, the touches. That dream had been more outlandish than the first one, for he and Lady Aeducan would never… They never would. Never could. But it had felt so good, and he could not only remember but feel how she had felt, soft and warm and so close.

Gorim buried his head into his hands. He needed to make those memories disappear, to make them not exist. It had been a dream, nothing more. But whereas he could explain the dream about Alyssa to himself, there was no explanation for the dream about Lady Aeducan. He had never, he could swear that he had never, thought of her that way in Orzammar. They had been comrades-in-arms and he had trained her and served as her second. That was all.

In Orzammar, yes, a treacherous little voice whispered in his head. And even there you once called her a paragon of beauty? Were you really just joking? And what about the surface? No rules, no castes. You've started calling her Kaehlyn.

"Get out of my head, you demon," Gorim said out loud, but he knew there was no one in his mind but himself. Those thoughts, those wrong, insane thoughts were his, and they needed to stop. He got up, his legs shaking a bit, and surveyed the surroundings better. Everything was slightly blurred, but still, he knew that it was more real than anything else he'd seen after… There'd been a creature, hadn't there, in the mages' tower? Had it sent them somewhere? Perhaps it was the Fade.

Gorim got up and walked around the place. That didn't take long. There was a strange portal at one end of the… floating island, or whatever it was he was on, but when he walked through it he ended up only on the other side of it. If the portal had some kind of power, it wasn't working for him.

Finally he settled down against the same pillar he'd leaned on before, since there was little else to do. Perhaps the demon would come back to taunt him or to lure him in some other dream, or perhaps it would simply wait until he died. If he was in a dream, how long would his body last in the real world. Or if he had in fact been sent to the Fade completely, well, there was nothing to eat or drink, so he wouldn't last long. The only thing was to wait.

…

Kaehlyn transformed back into her original form and then almost fell down because she tried to put weight evenly on all her four legs when she had only two. The mouse form was useful in getting her through narrow holes and past hordes of monsters, but it did make her crave for cheese. And it made her feel very small and powerless, which was not a good feeling to be had at the moment. Despite the problems, she was eternally grateful to the mage who had given her the skill, sacrificing himself so that she might escape. She wasn't going to let his sacrifice be in vain.

There was a large door still blocking her way. She focused and turned into the golem form. It was a strange feeling, thinking that you're still a dwarf but being stone through and though. Last time she'd changed back from golem she'd had trouble remembering how to breathe. She tore up a piece of the floor and flung it at the door, making it shatter. Then she changed into herself again and walked through the shattered doorway to the portal.

"Let's see where you want to take me," she muttered. She knew talking to herself was a sure sign of madness, but she needed to hear something familiar in that strange place, even if it was her own voice. She drew a breath, gripped the handle of her sword, and stepped through.

The spinning sensation, she hated it, but after it passed she found herself on yet another stone island. No monsters to be seen, so she set off. There was something, or someone, sitting next to a pillar. she took a few steps closer and then stopped, a smile spreading onto her face.

"Gorim!" she rushed closer, only to stop in shock as he spun up to face her, his weapon drawn.

"Stay back!" he said, his voice strained and his eyes darting all over her face. "Don't come any closer."

"Gorim, it's…" Kaehlyn started to say, but then a realization dawned to her. "You've had dreams. Of things that aren't real. So you…"

"How can I know you are real?" Gorim said, watching her every move closely. "You might be the demon, back to trick me again."

"Then again, you could be a demon here to trick me," Kaehlyn said, a little smile on her lips. "So how do I figure out if you're the real Gorim? The demon knows my thoughts, so if I ask you something that Gorim could only know, the demon will pick out the answer from my head."

"I thought exactly the same think," Gorim replied, easing up a little but still keeping his shield up between them. "How can I know it's really you?"

"I…" Kaehlyn looked behind her. "Come with me through the portal. There may be monsters there, but no dreams. Well, not my dreams, they probably were other people's dreams and fears."

"But you might be luring me into some trap," Gorim said. "The portal didn't work before."

"I think they only open from the other side," Kaehlyn said. She sighed and put away her sword, leaning on a pillar opposite of Gorim. "I believe you are Gorim. I don't know why but I just do. You don't feel wrong, like Duncan did. So I trust you. Will you trust me?"

"I don't know," Gorim muttered. His head felt muddled, and the image of lady Aeducan, the one from the dream, kept pushing itself into his mind. slowly, he put his axe and shield away and took a few steps closer. Lady Aeducan smiled at her, a small, nervous smile that he didn't see often. Maybe that smile was meant to lure him, to make him drop his guard. Maybe that smile was nothing but an illusion. Maybe…

"Let's go through the portal," Gorim said, walking to her. The decision might be the wrong one, but it needed to be made. Perhaps it was the demon's work, but… As he looked at her smile and nod and lead the way to the portal, he decided that if this was an illusion, it was much better that the previous two and even worth dying for.

Before they reached the portal, wisps of dust started to swirl from the ground, forming into dwarf-shaped apparitions. Next to them, a demon appeared, her face frowning and annoyed.

"You cannot leave unless I say so, my toy!" she screamed and the creatures lunged at them.

Kaehlyn drew her sword and cut through the nearest apparition before even thinking about going for her shield. She almost transformed, since the burning man would've taken care of the apparition's easily, but it might've freaked out Gorim. So she stayed in her real shape, fighting the creatures by Gorim's side, just like they'd done so many times before.

"You are mine!" As the last creature fell, the demon lifted her hands and sent a burst of energy straight into Gorim's chest. The man was flung into the ground and stayed down, writhing in pain. "Mine!" the demon repeated, turning to Kaehlyn.

Who was no longer there. In her place stood a creature so ancient that for a moment the demon didn't know what to do. Then the spirit raised its arms and the demon was hit with s spell that send her spinning backwards. Before she had time to react, the spirit had disappeared but a burning creature with a flaming sword was hacking at her. The demon tried to fight back, but down came the burning sword in a whirlwind of lashes, and she fell to the ground.

Gorim tried to get up, but the pain was too much. He'd never felt anything like it. He'd been close to death, but that pain was nothing compared to that.

"I'm dying," he said out loud. "I… I can't, not here, not…"

A creature appeared by his side. A creature with the face of a dead man. Somehow that didn't scare him. What was there left to be scared of now that he was…

"Kaehlyn," he breathed out her name and tried to get up, tried t get at the creature before it got to her. But the creature leaned towards him, touching the wound on his chest with sleek, cold fingers. A burst of energy flowed from it to him, pushing back the pain. Then another surge, and a third one, until he could breathe properly and the pain was gone. The creature backed away and he stood up, touching his chest where his armour was torn but his skin was intact.

"What…" Gorim started to say, but the creature began to waver and suddenly it was gone, replaced by Lady Aeducan.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but you were dying and the spirit form can heal so…"

"You… You were that creature?" Gorim stared at her. She nodded, clearly trying to think of something to say.

"If I'd told you, or showed you, you wouldn't have trusted me," she said. "I mean, I don't even understand it myself. But I encountered this mage and he gave me his power of transformation, well, a power to transform into a mouse, but I've learnt other forms as well, so…"

"You can turn into a mouse?" Gorim felt like his brain could sort out only a little bit of information at a time, but nevertheless he was bombarded with too many things at once.

"Yes," she said, running her fingers through her hair. "But it's me, Gorim, it…"

"Of course it is," Gorim said, smiling almost absentmindedly. "I mean, no demon would save me from another demon. Or think that the best way to prove that you're really you is to turn into some… creature."

"Then we need to go. I found you, I can find the others as well and we can get out and…" Kaehlyn breathed out in relief and started to walk towards the portal, but Gorim stopped.

"I can't…" he stuttered and then the colour started to fade from him making him transparent. "What is happening…"

"Gorim!" Kaehlyn rushed to him, but her fingertips only barely brushed something that was heavier than the air and then he was gone. She was alone again, the portal glimmering behind like it was mocking her.

"Gorim," she muttered, then shaking her head. She had found him once, she would find him again. She would find him again, she would find the others and they would defeat whatever power it was that held them there and get back to the real world.

"You're not taking anyone from me. You're not taking me," she said, and for a moment it felt like the air had shuddered, like somebody had been listening and was afraid. Being afraid was sensible, since she would have no mercy on the creature that had done this to her and the people she cared about.

She stepped through the portal, leaving the stone island completely deserted again.

…

Note from the writer: I'm so sorry about the delay and very grateful for the comments and the support. There's been a combination of writer's block, heat and laziness, and of those three only the writer's block is even somewhat proper excuse for not writing. I'll try to get the next chapter done more quickly, I promise.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 - Mountains and Ashes**

Kaehlyn wrapped her cloak around her as she huddled closer to the fire. They were on their way to the mountains and the air was getting colder; it had even snowed a little. They had made their camp to a small clearing near the road and got the fire going. Sten was keeping watch, the others had already gone to sleep.

Kaehlyn glanced towards the tent that Gorim and Alistair shared and wondered if the other dwarf was already sleeping. She wanted to talk to him, had wanted for weeks now, but it seemed they never had the time. And when they did, the conversation always led to other things, not the ones she wanted to talk about. The Tower, the Fade and also... No, mostly she wanted to talk about their trip to Denerim and their encounter with Alyssa, but something told her that Gorim's behaviour in Denerim had had something to do with the Tower. It had been after the Tower that he'd... changed.

Something had happened to Gorim there, Kaehlyn was certain of it. After she'd found her companions (and then lost them again, though only for a while), they'd faced the demon, got out of the Fade and faced the treacherous mages. They'd managed to save the first enchanter, who had pledged the mages' help for the Wardens, and agreed to send mages to help deal with Connor's situation.

Kaehlyn was relieved they had been able to save the boy, whose only crime had been that his mother was a fool who thought she could keep him safe by hiding him and his abilities. That had almost cost Connor his life, and still Isolde had seemed pensive about the need to send Connor to the Tower.

Kaehlyn really hated the woman. It was strange, since she usually tried to at least get along with people who were no threat to her, but Isolde... Every time she'd been around the woman, she'd wanted to slap her very, very hard. Maybe part of it had to do with how she'd treated Alistair; the scars left by being sent away because Eamon's new wife couldn't stand a small boy were still visible whenever Alistair looked at Isolde. And if someone made Alistair, one of the sweetest people Kaehlyn had ever met, feel bad, that someone was pure evil.

"Who are you thinking about with that kind of smile on your lips?" A heavily accented voice asked and Kaehlyn turned to look at Zevran, who'd appeared by the fire.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she replied and the elf grinned and sat down next to her. Kaehlyn still didn't know quite what to make of him; he'd tried to kill her, at Loghain's command, and then pledged his swords for her cause after she'd defeated him. And he kept flirting with her. At first it had annoyed her; something about it reminded her of all those hapless noblemen back in Orzammar, trying to woo the princess at Harrowmont's request. But then she'd actually started to like it. Flirting seemed to come to Zevran as naturally as breathing came to all people, but it wasn't offensive, and he'd made it clear that he wouldn't take it further unless she wanted him to. Kaehlyn was certain that if she encouraged him, things might get more complicated than she needed at the moment, but if she merely went along and took the flirtation as a joke, she might even start to get along with the elf. Provided that he didn't decide to backstab her to claim his reward.

"I do have a few guesses," Zevran said. "It clearly is not me, since if you'd been thinking about me the way I want you to think about me, you'd be blushing. But..." he went on, ignoring the way she rolled her eyes, "I do believe that you might be thinking about what kind of skills Templars are trained in and whether those skills might be any good in..."

"Zevran, please, I was thinking no such thing!" Kaehlyn couldn't help herself, the warmth spreading n her cheeks told her that she was blushing.

"Well, maybe not about those particular thoughts, but about that particular person," Zevran grinned. "I was actually certain my second guess would be more accurate, but, well, you can't be right all the time." The elf started to get up, but Kaehlyn stopped him.

"Who was your second guess?" She hadn't planned on asking that, but she couldn't help herself. Zevran chuckled and leaned closer to her.

"If you don't know that yet, I'm not going to spoil the surprise," he whispered and then headed for his tent. She tried to burn a hole in his leather armour with her stare, but since she'd lost the ability to turn into the burning man when she'd left the Fade, Zevran was left unharmed and Kaehlyn headed for her tent, where Leliana was already fast asleep.

...

Her lips were soft and tasted of wine. He traced a line of kisses down from her lips to her neck, to her breast, then his fingers started to unlace her dress. Her skin was warm and soft and he needed to touch it, needed to feel her, all bare and beautiful and all his.

"Gorim," she muttered and he lifted his head to look into her eyes. She smiled at him, her hands caressing his hair, playing with his beard. "Say it to me again."

"I love you, my lady," he said and her smile widened and her eyes sparkled like diamonds as she leaned to kiss his lips.

"Gorim, wake up, it's your watch," Alistair shook his elbow and Gorim snapped out from the dream, breathing heavily. "Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?"

"No, well, kind of," Gorim replied and stared at the young Templar. Was he being polite, making fun of him or did he really think that... Well, it didn't matter. What did matter, however, is that Alistair didn't notice the state in which the dream had left Gorim. "Thank you for waking me, I'll get going right now."

"Alright," the human said. "It's pretty peaceful out there, so it should be an easy watch."

"Let's hope it stays peaceful," Gorim replied and got out of the tent, managing to use his equipment to cover his, luckily, diminishing excitement. The camp fire had almost died out and he walked past it to the edge of the camp, listening for any sounds that would indicate danger.

But Alistair had been right, it was peaceful, so Gorim's thoughts moved back to the dream. Well, dreams. There'd been many of them after they'd left the Tower. Both of Kaehlyn and Alyssa. Sometimes of the two of them at once. Those were the strangest dreams. And then suddenly he had been in the same room with both of those women, and it hadn't been a dream.

...

They needed to find a cure for the Arl, and the scholar Genitivi in Denerim seemed to be the only man to help them in the search of the Ashes. Gorim had doubted that they even existed and, not surprisingly, Sten had agreed with him. But Kaehlyn, despite her own doubts, had decided that it was worth a shot, since without the Arl they might not have any chance of getting the human nobles to listen to them.

So they had headed for Denerim. Brother Genitivi had been missing and his assistant had turned out to be an impostor, but in the end they had found out about the mountains and the little village that the Brother had thought could help in his search. And they had been on their way out of Denerim when Gorim had heard a familiar voice calling his name.

It had been impossible to decline Alyssa's invitation to dine with her family. She'd said she owed them that much for saving their lives, and since Kaehlyn had accepted, Gorim had had no choice but to follow Alyssa back to her home.

It was a grand home, and for a moment Gorim had imagined himself living there, engaged to the daughter of the house, and soon a husband, helping with the trade, learning to be a shopkeeper. Alyssa's whole family had been there, and they were kind people, welcoming a rag tag group, including a mabari, into their home. There was no talk of caste or no doubt of belonging; once you were on the surface, you were welcome.

Gorim had spent half the time enjoying himself, while the other half was filled with worrying. Seeing Alyssa again, after their short time together, after that dream in the Fade, it made him wonder how things could've been, or possible should've been. There were two women he cared about, but only one of them had indicated that she felt the same. Shouldn't he just go for what he knew for sure would happen, commit himself to Alyssa and forget those impossible dreams of Kaehlyn.

The thought was logical, so logical, that later, when he'd been walking around the large garden at the back of the house, Alyssa had come to him, and walked straight into his arms and kissed him, everything had felt right. But only for a moment.

"I'm sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't, but..." Alyssa had pulled away from the embrace, her cheeks reddening. "It was just that I thought I'd let go of those silly dreams I had, but then you were there and I just had to spend more time with you and then _she_ seemed more interested in the Templar and I thought that maybe, just maybe you... I shouldn't have."

"She?" Gorim had asked, and for a moment Alyssa panicked looked had given way to annoyance.

"Kaehlyn, of course," she'd said, smiling sadly. "I know that you have feelings for her. I could see it when you two met again, after the battle. But now it seemed like she didn't... I mean not with you and... Have you told her how you feel?"

"No." Gorim hadn't wanted to reply, had wanted to let the whole conversation drop, but Alyssa's honesty forced him to reply in the same fashion. "Maybe I shouldn't. I don't think anything good would come out of it. But you and me, we..."

"We make sense," Alyssa's voice had been almost amused. "I care for you, you know that. But I think the real question is how much you care for her? Would you be truly happy with me, or would you constantly wonder what could've been? Because I don't want that. I don't want to be the second choice, the one who is almost good enough. I deserve more. Could I ever be your first choice?"

Gorim had wanted to say 'yes', because that would've made sense, that would've made his life so much easier. But he couldn't. Alyssa had been watching him and when he made no reply, she'd nodded and given him a sad smile.

"At least now we both know," she'd said. "I wish you all the well. But I won't be waiting for you."

"I hope you'll be happy," Gorim said and then remembered something. "You gave me this," he said, pulling a small parcel from his pocket. "I haven't opened it yet, and I think it's best if you..."

"It's not that personal," Alyssa had said, smiling. "A protective trinket, not very powerful. But even having it in your pocket can help. So please, keep it. As a gift from a friend, nothing more."

"Thank you," Gorim had replied, putting the parcel back into his pocket. "For your kindness and, well, everything."

"You're welcome," she'd smiled, and the forced cheerfulness in her voice had made Gorim's heart ache. "Now, you should return to your friends before uncle forces them to stay the night or buy all his stock."

She'd walked away and he'd felt both sad and relieved. Suddenly the questions that had plagued him ever since the Tower had disappeared. He knew what he wanted. There still was the problem of whether to say anything to Kaehlyn, and as Gorim watched over the sleeping camp, he was very aware that he'd been avoiding her. It was partly because of the dreams, since it was hard talking to her while some of the images could suddenly pop into his head, but partly because he wanted to see if she could possibly be interested in him rather than in Alistair.

He would wait. He would see what made her happy. Because that was really all he wanted, all he'd ever wanted. For his lady to be happy. He'd be willing to face anything to guarantee her happiness.

...

"It's a dragon," Sten's voice was almost as flat as usually, but there was a hint of awe that Gorim could recognize since he felt the same way as he watched the mighty beast stretching its wings and then laying its head down again. After the creepy village and its fanatic villagers, a frozen temple and a bunch of drakes and an insane priest, a dragon seemed perfectly normal. And somewhat frightening, guarding over the mountains and the small valleys from its throne high above them.

"Would it be wrong to just sneak into the temple and hope it doesn't notice us?" Leliana asked, her voice almost a whisper. "Not the stuff of legends, but at least we'll be alive afterwards to feel ashamed."

"That sounds like a good plan," Kaehlyn said. Sten started to protest, but at that exact moment the dragon lifted its head, glanced around and roared. Everyone took an instinctive step back into the shadows of the entrance they'd come from, but the dragon didn't seemed to have noticed them. After a while it rested down again, its tail dangling from the ledge.

"Perhaps it's better to do simply what we came here to do and leave the beast alone for now," the qunari said. "The sooner we get down from this cursed mountain, the better." Kaehlyn took care not to smile when she nodded and motioned everyone to follow her.

They walked slowly into the opening, glancing every once in a while at the dragon, but the beast seemed to be finally asleep. The temple's door was near, but before they could walk through them, a figure appeared in front of them.

"Welcome, wanderers," the apparition said, watching them calmly. "You seek the ashes." It wasn't a question but a statement.

"Yes," Kaehlyn said. "May we pass? We mean no ham to you or to this place; we only seek a small amount of the ashes in order to save a man's life." She was almost surprised at her own calmness, but then again, since the man wasn't trying to attack them, she could try to use some of the diplomatic skills she'd picked up during her noble upbringing in Orzammar.

"First you must answer a question," the man said. "All of you. you first, fallen princess. Do you feel you failed your brother?"

"What?" Kaehlyn's voice faltered and Gorim took an instinctive step towards her, and more importantly, to the figure questioning her. One wrong move, and he'…

"Stay where you are, your turn will come," the man said and Kaehlyn glanced quickly toward Gorim, who halted. "Did you fail your brother Trian?" The man repeated the question.

"Because I trusted Bhelen and didn't think he'd kill Trian?" Kaehlyn asked. "What does it matter to you? He's dead."

"It matters to you," the man said. "You carry it within you, that feeling you can't put into words. Now is the time for that. Did you fail your brother?"

"You have no right!" Gorim stepped up to stand by her side, his eyes fixed on the man. The human seemed almost amused.

"You know failure too, don't you, Gorim Saelac? Do you wonder at nights what has become of your family? If you'd gone along with prince Bhelen's story, you would've been rewarded and you could be certain your family was fine. Now you can only hope that he hasn't taken revenge on them. Was it really worth it to choose your commander over your kin?"

"You asked me a question, so I'll answer it, but you leave my companions alone!" Kaehlyn almost shouted at the same time as Gorim replied with a quiet "Yes, it was." They turned to look at each other and the look that passed between them went on for a while until the apparition spoke again, sounding almost amused.

"There I have one answer. Now I need another."

"Yes, I failed him!" Kaehlyn turned to the apparition, her voice dripping with desperation. "We didn't get along, so when Bhelen told me Trian wanted me dead, it was easy to believe him. I should've looked into it! I should've spoken with Trian! My brother was many bad things, but he was honourable. But I wanted to believe Bhelen so… Yes, I failed him. And because I failed Trian I also failed my father! Now, no more questions. You've had your fun. Can we pass?"

"Yes," the apparition almost smiled. "Maybe you'll find more than the ashes inside. Maybe you find a measure of peace. But be warned, your faith will still be tested once you're inside."

"I'm a dwarf, we don't believe as you humans do." Kaehlyn couldn't help herself, the words just came out. The apparition laughed.

"Then try to find an understanding to why humans believe. That can carry you further than you think." With those words, the apparition stepped aside to allow them passage. Kaehlyn glanced at Gorim and then at her other companions, and walked into the temple.

...

The apparition hadn't been lying about understanding the humans' faith. The statues and their riddles had been difficult, but luckily Leliana had wide knowledge of stories related to Andraste and they managed to answer correctly. Kaehlyn led her group through the door that had opened into yet another dusty corridor. There was a figure standing there as well. A figure who couldn't possibly be there. Kaehlyn motioned everyone to stop and then stepped forward, her eyes fixed on the figure.

"Trian?" her voice was only a whisper as she approached the figure slowly. It couldn't be her brother, that was simply impossible, but she couldn't fight the sadness that spread into her as she watched him give her a crooked smile, one of those rare Trian-smiles.

"Greetings, my exiled sister," he said, eyeing her calmly. "I suppose I should be lamenting your fate, cast to walk the surface that you are, but since my fate was even harsher... Well, all I can say is that maybe I spent so much time worrying about you stealing my throne that I forgot to check what our dear little brother was doing."

"Trian, I'm so sorry, I should've known what Bhelen..." Kaehlyn started to say, but her brother silenced her with that very familiar wave of his hand.

"Bhelen made fools of us both, I guess," Trian said. "But I know you had nothing to do with his betrayal or my death. Or father's death."

"Father?" Kaehlyn stepped closer. "Is he... Have you..."

"Some things I cannot tell you, Kae," Trian said, using the nickname she hadn't heard from him in years. "But this I can. Despite what has happened to you, you have stayed on your path. You have not faltered. And I'm so proud of you. Here," he seemed to pick up an amulet from thin air and held it out to her. "Take this, and use it well. I give you this, with my blessing."

As Kaehlyn reached to take the amulet, Trian's hand closed around hers for a moment, holding her hand like he had done when they'd been small and snuck into the kitchen to steal some snacks. He smiled as he looked into her eyes.

"Remember me," he said and then he vanished, leaving only the memory of the touch and the amulet in her hand. She turned it around in her hand, studying the smooth surface, and then, absent-mindedly, put it around her neck. She was aware of her companions standing behind her, probably filled with questions, but she couldn't turn around, because then they'd see her struggle against tears.

It was important not to cry, but so difficult. She was suddenly very tired of being the leader, proving her worth and following the path of a warrior. She wanted to be the girl who had just seen a vision of her dead brother, brother who'd she hadn't gotten along for such a long time but who'd been there for her when she'd been small, like the time when she'd fallen down the stairs and hurt her ankle. Who'd started to drift away after she'd chosen the life of a warrior instead of a future politician and a wife. To whom she hadn't told in a very long time that she loved him, and now it was too late for that.

"Let's just keep moving," she said when Alistair touched her shoulder and asked if she was fine, avoiding the question and avoiding his eyes. She wasn't fine, far from it, but Sten had been right, the sooner they got down from the mountain, the better. The ashes, if they truly existed, couldn't be far away.

...

"So this is it," Kaehlyn said, looking at the statue in front of them. Leliana and Wynne were staring at it with adoration and even Alistair seemed impressed, whereas Sten eyed the statue and the urn like they were the most worthless thing in existence.

"I hope the human stories are right," Gorim said and handed her a small leather pouch. "Here, for the ashes."

"Thank you," Kaehlyn took the pouch and knelt next to the urn. It was difficult to get ash into the pouch and she felt a light pang of guilt, because just maybe the ashes were truly holy, when she spilled some of them onto the floor. But they didn't need much, so she managed to get enough without pouring all that remained of Andraste on the ground.

"This is a strange place," Gorim muttered as they walked away from the statue, giving Leliana a moment to pray alone.

"Says the person who didn't have to get naked to walk through a wall of fire," Kaehlyn pointed out with a little smirk on her face. "That's not an experience I want to relive."

"I believe that," Gorim said, almost grinning when he remembered how hard it had been to resist the urge to take a peek after Wynne had ordered all the men to turn their backs. "I'm not sure I would've done that."

"Well, since Wynne swore she could put out the flames if I caught fire, I had to take the chance," Kaehlyn grinned. It felt good to joke, to try to put the sadness that had been brought back by meeting... Trian? A spectre that looked like Trian? Well, meeting what she felt in her heart had been Trian. And somehow she felt that Gorim knew all this. He knew her so well.

"Thank you for waiting," Leliana walked to them, a happy smile on her lips. "This meant a lot to me. But we can leave now. I think everyone wants to get somewhere warmer."

"Good idea," Kaehlyn said and carefully placed the pouch of ashes into her bag. She glanced one last time at the statue of the human prophet and then headed for the exit.

...

"After we've taken the ashes to the arl, whether he wakes up or not, we need to go home," Kaehlyn said to Gorim as they walked out of the frozen temple side by side.

"Orzammar?" Gorim stopped and looked at her. "Our welcome may not be a kind one."

"I'm going there as a Grey Warden," she said, the strain in her voice betraying her apparent calmness. "I have the treaties, they will let me in."

"And if Bhelen has become the king?" Gorim asked. Kaehlyn closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them, drawing a deep breath.

"Then we'll just have to ask King Bhelen for assistance," she said. "What we're doing is more important than my hatred. Although I really wish it wasn't," she finished with a sigh. "I'm not sure that was Trian in there and I know it was years since we last got along, but... I loved him. In a way. And he didn't deserve what happened to him. Unlike Bhelen, who deserves everything bad coming to him. But if he's the king already... There's nothing to do but accept that. Defeating the Blight is the priority here."

"I'll be by your side, my lady, whatever may come," Gorim said and Kaehlyn's face broke into a genuine smile. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then smiled defensively at his surprised expression.

"You can't expect to say sweet things without getting that kind of reaction," she said. "Now let's get moving," she added and then turned away, and Gorim could swear that her cheeks were a little flushed, but she pulled the hood of her cloak on, so he couldn't be certain.

Gorim touched his cheek and then followed his lady with just a hint of a smile on his lips. It was starting to snow again, but the wretched frozen water didn't bother him at all.

...

Note from the writer:

I promised I'd get the next chapter up as soon as possible and it's been… what, three months? I don't suppose offering my first-born child (if I ever have one) as a sacrifice could serve as an apology? I'm sorry, life has been hectic all autumn and then I also moved, so that was extra stress I really didn't need. But I'll try to get back to writing and try to update more often. I also notices that long breaks are not good for my writing skills; some parts of this chapter were written while almost banging my head on the wall and forcing the text out, so the quality may be off at some points. Sorry about that, too. Wow, apologizing a lot here. Sorry about that! ;)

Miscellaneous stuff about the chapter and what's coming next: I can never bring myself to kill Zevran, so he's in (and flirty elves are always fun, right?). And I think I should pick up Shale as well (the whole dwarf/golem dynamic thing, you know). And I plan to get rid of the most of Gorim/Kaehlyn angst in the next few chapters, although that might lead to some amount of Alistair angst. Or worse, sad puppy eyes-Alistair, which is even worse than a real sad puppy. But all that's to come, hopefully still during _this_ year.

Most importantly, thank you for your patience and all the reviews and faves. I appreciate them more than you can imagine. :)


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 - Returning Home

Gorim stared at the flickering flames of the campfire, while stroking Hobbes' neck. The mabari was asleep at his feet, curled so close to the fire that Gorim kept worrying that it might get burnt. But the hound slept peacefully, so perhaps he was simply worrying too much.

Speaking of worrying, Gorim remembered the golem and glanced towards the place where Shale had settled for the evening, sitting down, but keeping an wary eye out for birds. There was something very unsettling about the golem that Gorim couldn't quite explain. It seemed to be... watching him, all too often. Kaehlyn had said that he was probably imagining it, but Gorim still felt uneasy whenever he saw the golem's eyes turn towards him.

They'd found the golem in a small village of Honnleath, which had been attacked by the darkspawn. On their way back to Orzammar they'd encountered a merchant desperate to get rid off a golem control rod he'd acquired, and Kaehlyn had jumped to the chance to see if the stories of a golem were true. Gorim had wanted to ask her if she was simply trying to avoid going back home as long as possible, but he'd kept quiet. It was her choice and he followed her lead. And he had to admit, he'd been curious himself.

The stories of the golem had turned out to be true, and now Gorim felt like he should've opposed the idea to go seek the creature out. Then again, maybe having a golem with them might give them some leverage, at least when seeking entrance to the city. Golems were rare, and having one with them just might intrigue whoever was in charge at the moment to let them enter. Or possibly it could bash in the gates. Gorim knew he shouldn't find so much dark pleasure from imagining the look on Bhelen's face if Shale smashed down the palace doors and marched towards the traitorous prince, but then again, he wanted the man to suffer as much as possible before he killed him.

Killing Bhelen, that would be his gift to his Lady. She only needed to say the word and he would cut the prince down, no matter what the opposition laid out against them. She might not be able to kill him herself, since no matter what Bhelen had done, Gorim was certain Kaehlyn still saw him as her little brother. But wasn't that why Kaehlyn had Gorim? Every dwarf noble needed a second in command to do the dark deeds they themselves couldn't.

Gorim knew his thoughts were dark, but he had reasons for that. The main one was that after tearing his eyes away from the disturbing from of Shale he'd noticed Kaehlyn deep in conversation with Alistair. Ever since they'd managed to cure the arl, the young templar had almost been falling over himself to show his gratitude to her. And as a man in love, Gorim was certain he could spot another man in love, or at least falling in love, with the woman he himself loved.

If she would be happy with the human, if she loved him... Then Gorim would resign to be the second in command, to doing the dark deeds that she couldn't. He'd be proud to serve her, no matter what. But part of him kept wondering if it really could work out between Kaehlyn and Alistair. An exiled dwarven princess and a human prince... They were the right caste - Gorim almost grinned at the thought, since it had been long since he'd last though about castes and their meaning - but the surface folk might mind that they were not the same race.

Suddenly Alistair was walking away from Kaehlyn, a cold expression set on his face. Kaehlyn hurried after the human, took his arm, seemed to try to calm him down and then the two of them disappeared into the shadows of the trees surrounding the campsite. Gorim tried to make out shapes in the dark, tried to hear the words that were spoken, but he couldn't make out anything. Hobbes whined and raised his head to look at him. Had he sensed his mistress' feelings or had Gorim's miserable presence woken him from his sleep? Gorim patted the dog and sighed.

"I guess you mabari have the love thing sorted out better than the rest of us?" he asked, and almost thought that the dog nodded. Perhaps it was time to go to sleep.

...

"Alistair, please, you need to..."

"No, I don't need to," the human snapped back at her. It almost frightened her. She'd seen him sad, but most of the times he was good-natured, more than a little sarcastic and, lately, a little flirty as well. But she'd never seen such a hard look on his face as she did at the moment.

"You and Eamon, did you talk about this behind my back? Did he ask you to make sure I was ready to be king?" Alistair spoke fast, the words coming from his mouth fuelled by anger. "Let's make plans about Alistair's future behind his back, is that it?"

"No, it's not!" Kaehlyn snapped back. "Yes, Eamon thinks you should be king. And I happen to agree with him. But we didn't plan, plot, or even talk about this."

"Then why?" Alistair asked. "Why are you suddenly telling me that I need to think about making a claim to the throne when we go confront Loghain? I'm not fit to be king! Anora is doing a fine job at queening, let her keep doing that."

"Loghain is her father. You think she will let us strip him of power and imprison him?"

"I don't intend to imprison him, I intend to kill him," Alistair said, his voice almost eerily calm. He's responsible for the death of Duncan, and of Cailan, and of all those poor sods who would've been saved at Ostagar if he hadn't ran away!"

"Even more reason for Anora to stand in out way," Kaehlyn said. "You can't really think she would side against her father. And you really can't think that the nobles will accept Eamon as the new king, or regent, or whatever. Yes, his Cailan's uncle, but he's not related to Maric through blood. You are."

"But I don't want to be king. Don't you understand that?" Alistair's voice was almost desperate. "You've told me many times how your elder brother feared you'd want the throne even though you never wanted it, and how your younger brother..."

"You're right, I never wanted the throne," Kaehlyn said, the memories swarming to her mind almost too painful to bear. That was why she'd been trying to postpone travelling to Orzammar, even after she'd decided to go there. "I never wanted the throne, but if the situation had been one where it was either going after the throne or leaving Orzammar in trouble, in incompetent or dangerous hands... I would've accepted the responsibility. It's my duty."

"Duty?" Alistair asked slowly. "Maybe so. You're a noble, you've had your entire lifetime to get to know that world. I'm noble only through part of my blood, not through anything else. I've lived my life as a boy nobody really noticed, as a teenager hating every minute of my life at the Chantry, and now, finally, I've found out who I am. I'm a Warden. Stopping the Blight is my duty. My only duty. I will not take on the duties of a king as well."

"You might have to, if you want to unite all of Ferelden against the darkspawn," Kaehlyn said, rubbing her temples. She felt tired, so tired, and she had no idea how the conversation had taken such a turn for the worst. She'd simply wanted to tell Alistair what she'd been thinking about their situation, about his situation, and she'd never thought he'd react so strongly.

"We'll find another way," Alistair said. "I will not become king simply because you or Eamon think it'll be the easiest way." He turned and marched towards his tent, not giving her another look. Kaehlyn drew a ragged breath, trying to hold back her tears. Maybe he was right. She still saw the world, at least partly, through the eyes of a dwarven noble. Even though she was exiled, duty and honour were still very important to her, parts of who she was. And Alistair was... Alistair was different. It was that difference that intrigued her, but it also made it very difficult to understand the man. The human. She sighed. Maybe the thoughts she'd had of him, usually late at night when she was unable to sleep, were just ridiculous fancies.

She headed for her tent, saying good night on the way to Sten, who was keeping watch. And she dreamt of Alistair, which really didn't improve her mood when she woke up in the morning.

...

"Do you want to talk?" Kaehlyn glanced at Gorim, who had appeared by her side as they walked up the mountain path. She shook her head.

"I really don't," she replied, and the other dwarf nodded. They continued on in a comfortable silence that felt surprisingly good to Kaehlyn. Ever since last night and her conversation, well, the argument, with Alistair, her mind had been buzzing with all sorts of thoughts. Suddenly they were all gone, replaced by a strange calmness.

"You know, I'm really scared," Kaehlyn said after a while, when the air was getting even colder, signalling that they were close to the entrance of the city. "I'm not even sure what of. I just... I don't know what to expect."

"I understand," Gorim said, and she could trust that he truly did. "Bhelen may be in power now and he won't make anything easy for us."

"I don't think Harrowmont would go down without a fight, and I think he's too tough to have given up already," Kaehlyn said. "But I think there will be fighting in the streets, and assassinations in the dark. I think it will be so different from the city we left behind."

"To be honest, there were assassinations before as well," Gorim said and was pleased to hear a chuckle from Kaehlyn. Maybe it was brought on by desperation and tiredness, but at least she was smiling.

"I don't know how I could do this if you weren't here," she suddenly said, and it felt to Gorim like is heart had skipped a beat or two. He wished he could open his mouth and say the words he'd been going through in his mind over and over, but... She'd just had a fight with Alistair. Even if her answer was one Gorim was hoping, he couldn't be certain it wouldn't be brought on by desperation rather than real feelings. And he needed her to feel the way he did, otherwise it would all be a lie.

"I'll always be by your side when you need me, My Lady," Gorim replied, smiling the annoyed look Kaehlyn gave her. He loved that look. Then they walked over a small hill and he stopped. "There it is," he said.

Kaehlyn hadn't seen the gates of Orzammar from the outside before. When she'd joined Duncan in the Deep Roads, they'd made their way out through long forgotten tunnels and had ended up a little south of the entrance.

"Home," she almost whispered. Gorim stepped closer to her and smiled.

"Let's go see what state it's in," Gorim said and Kaehlyn nodded, leading their group towards the gates, hoping that she'd have the courage to do what needed to be done once she was back home.

...

Note from the writer: Thank you for the comments and the faves and sorry about the delay again. I had so much trouble getting this chapter started and then I basically wrote it all in one go once I got it started. I've been looking forward and dreading Orzammar (kinda like Kaehlyn), since it's in there where all the important emotional stuff will most likely happen. Looking forward to writing those chapters, hope you all stick around to read it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – The Way Things Change**

"One good thing about having Shale with us is that people stare at him as much as they stare at me," Kaehlyn said as they made their way through the Hall of Ancestors. The golem was gathering many looks, but as soon as the people stopped staring at him, Kaehlyn noticed their eyes turning to her, and that was when the whispering truly started. The only friendly glance she'd gotten was from the scholar she had helped on the day of the Proving, and it was the only one she expected to get.

"I'm almost expecting them to throw something," she added as a mother pulled her daughter away from them as they passed.

"You're a Warden, so they can do nothing," Alistair said, and Kaehlyn hoped for some humorous remark, because that would've told her that despite their previous conversation, everything was fine between them. But he remained silent and she continued on, her heart sinking even lower.

"We need to go see Harrowmont first," Kaehlyn said as they reached the doors leading to the Commons. "The rest of you can wait at his estate while I go see Bhelen."

"You can't be serious!" Gorim stopped her, touching her arm gently, but firmly. "You can't trust him, the moment he sees you he will…"

"I need to see him," Kaehlyn said, trying to stop her voice from breaking. "I need to look him in the eye and ask him if he killed father. I just have to. I'm sorry, but in this instance I'm not going to be reasonable, even if you give me that disapproving look."

"You're not going alone," Gorim stated, letting go of her arm. "I'm coming with you."

"I wouldn't have expected otherwise," Kaehlyn smiled, and pushed the doors open.

There were sound of a fight and a group of people gathered near the bridge to the Proving Grounds. As they approached, a horrified sigh rose from the crowd. Then the crowd started slowly to disperse, and Kaehlyn could see a group of armed guards escorting someone towards the Diamond Quarter. Soon the only ones left in the opening were four guards gathered around a body.

"So, this is dwarven politics, then?" Zevran smirked. "Pretty close to Antivan politics, although the killings usually take place in less public places."

"They usually do here, too," Kaehlyn sighed and motioned everyone to follow. The guards at the entrance to the Diamond Quarter were not very pleased to let her through, but the Grey Warden seal carried enough weight to make the men step aside, crumbling, and allow them entrance.

"Kaehlyn?" A noblewoman standing near the entrance with her servant stepped closer as they approached. "Kae, is that really you?"

"Nerav!" Kaehlyn smiled at the woman, then hesitated. After all, if nothing had happened, they'd probably already celebrated the marriage of Nerav and Trian, and if Nerav believed Bhelen's lies, then she would blame her for Trian's death.

"Oh, Kae, it's so good you're back!" Nerav rushed to hug her, then stepped quickly back. "You know, that armour is awfully hard."

"Sort of its point" Kaehlyn smiled, relieved. "How are you?"

"How would you think?" Nerav replied. "I'm so sorry about your father, and I'm sorry that I actually believed Bhelen's lies for a second. I should've known you would never do anything like that."

"What has happened here? Are they fighting in the streets now?" Kaehlyn looked around. Although the Diamond Quarter seemed normal, there was something in the air, something she'd never felt before. People seemed to be on their guard, eyeing each other to see whether anyone could be trusted. Thankfully Shale was again gathering up most of the stares, so Kaehlyn drew Nerav aside.

"Bhelen insists the crown belongs to him, but Harrowmont is vehement to keep the promise he made to your father. Mostly they are fighting at the Assembly, but sometimes the most fanatical followers fight in the streets. Yesterday a servant was injured and another died at a failed assassination attempt to one of Harrowmont's trusted followers. And there is no end in sight," Nerav sighed. "Neither one of them has enough followers to win, and it seems like the only thing they can do now is either bribe or kill enough of the other one's followers."

"The Blight is coming and Orzammar needs to stand united," Kaehlyn said. "And for that it needs a king."

"You'll support Harrowmont?" Nerav asked. "I fear your support won't mean much. Bhelen's followers will call you a murderer and tell everyone that your support proves that Harrowmont is trying to steal the throne. And if you support Bhelen…"

"Never," Kaehlyn said, her voice almost breaking. Helping Bhelen get the throne, what would that make her? Someone who rewarded murder and betrayal. "I guess I'll go see Steward Bandelor, to hear what his view of the situation is, and then go meet Harrowmont."

"Remember that you will always be welcome in the house of Helmi if you need a place to stay," Nerav said.

"Thank you, Nerav," Kaehlyn said and watched the woman walk away.

"I wonder if there is any other way to resolve this than with blood," Gorim leaned towards her as they walked towards the Assembly Hall, speaking quietly. "As always, you just need to say the word."

"I'm…" Kaehlyn hesitated. "You just offered to kill my brother, didn't you? You think you could make it in and out of the palace alive?"

"I would only need to get in," Gorim said calmly, and Kaehlyn felt a chill run down her spine.

"No," she said, looking into his eyes. "We will try to resolve this without violence. Put Harrowmont on that throne fairly. Or at least as fairly as it's possible in Orzammar."

…

The Assembly was a mess, deshyrs shouting at one another, couple of them even drawing their weapons. The Steward ordered the Assembly to break, coming to meet Kaehlyn with a tired look on his face. What he told her was almost identical to what Nerav had said; neither candidate had enough support to win, but neither one was backing down, either. It would take almost a miracle for one of them to get such support that there was no room for an argument. He apologised he couldn't be any help, wishing her good luck in whatever she decided to do.

Lord Harrowmont's estate was well guarded, but after a small exchange of messages between the guards and whoever it was in charge inside, they were allowed entrance. Lord Harrowmont came to greet them in the hall, looking more determined than she'd ever seen.

"Your father was so sorry for what happened, for believing Bhelen," Harrowmont explained as they sat in his office. "But there are many who believe his lies, or are lulled by his promises of a more 'modern' future, so winning will not be easy."

"What can I do to help?" Kaehlyn asked and Harrowmont told them about the criminal carta, rising form Dust Town to claim hold of all of Orzammar.

"But even if I can claim the glory of defeating them, it will not be enough," Harrowmont sighed. "I think that the only thing that could really sway the vote would be Branka."

"The Paragon?" Kaehlyn asked. "But surely she is dead. It has been two years and…"

"Bhelen's men have started searching the Deep Roads," Harrowmont interrupted her. "I've sent some of my men to do the same. If there is any chance that she is alive, then… The situation is so bad that finding the Paragon and getting her endorsement seems like the only thing that could have any effect on the Assembly."

"I need to think about what do. Perhaps we could talk more tomorrow," Kaehlyn said. "It's getting late and I still need to visit the palace."

"What?" Harrowmont stared at her. "Bhelen will never allow you entrance. At worst, he will try to kill you."

"I want to bring him down," Kaehlyn said, slowly. "But I will not do so behind his back. I need to meet him. I need to look him in the eye and ask him why he did what he did. I need to ask him if he killed father. This is something that I have to do."

"I'll be going with her," Gorim said. "She won't be unprotected."

"And I was also hoping Shale would come too," Kaehlyn said and the golem glared at her.

"Why would it want me to come?"

"Well, if you don't mind, I would like to be able to go all 'Step aside or my golem will break the gates', in case they refuse to let us in," Kaehlyn said. "'My golem' being a bluff, naturally, since you're your own golem," she added quickly.

"If the guards won't step aside, do I have your permission to squish them?" Shale asked, the enthusiasm in his voice sounding quite worrying. But Kaehlyn hesitated only for a second.

"Of course," she replied, and the golem nodded.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

"Lord Harrwomont, your youngest daughter is about my size, isn't she?" Kaehlyn asked as the rest of the group started to wander off. "I don't wish to march in there dressed in armour and carrying a sword. I'm going there as an ambassador of the Grey Wardens and a daughter of a dead king, not as a warrior. I don't think Bhelen would let me near him if I was carrying my sword."

"I'll see what the servants can find," Lord Harrowmont said, and then walked to a weapon rack at the end of the room. "And these daggers are small enough to conceal when wearing a dress," he said, taking out two delicate, but sharp daggers. "Taking them is my condition for getting a dress."

"Seems reasonable enough," Kaehlyn said, smiling a little, and took the daggers. "Wait for me in the hall," she said to Gorim and Shale, and then followed a servant towards the living quarters.

…

"Does it know that it looks very good in that dress?" Shale asked in a conversational tone as they were leaving for the castle, Gorim wearing his armour, Kaehlyn dressed in dark blue dress and a black cape. "That colour brings out its complexion very nicely."

"What?" Kaehlyn asked, turning to look at the golem, who looked also slightly confused.

"I… I just had this thought that its dress was nice. And that I should be envious of how nice it looks when wearing the dress. Clearly its presence has done my brains some harm," Shale said, sounding both exasperated and baffled.

"Right…" Kaehlyn glanced at Gorim, who shrugged.

"Shale is right, you look wonderful. Although right now I would prefer you in armour," he added and, despite his worry of what might happen when they got to the castle, he also felt a warm flush as he watched her cheeks redden a little at his words.

"Let's just go," Kaehlyn turned away, suddenly not wanting to meet Gorim's eyes. The daggers Harrowmont had given her were hidden away, but easily accessible should the situation call for it. She wasn't certain if she wanted a reason to use them on Bhelen or not, and it frightened her slightly.

Surprisingly enough, and to Shale's disappointment, they were allowed entrance to the castle right away. But it became clear why as soon as they got in. There were armed guards, more than she'd ever seen in the castle at once, in every corridor. Part of Kaehlyn wondered, disapprovingly, that those guards would've served better making sure the carta wasn't threatening the people instead of protecting Bhelen. Part of her understood exactly how afraid her brother was, even though he'd never admit his fear to anyone.

"I'd never thought I'd see you again," Bhelen greeted her as they were escorted into the throne room. He was surrounded by guards, most of them holding crossbows and looking like they were ready to use them any second.

"That I can believe," she replied. "After all, you wanted me dead."

"A prize for murder usually is death," Bhelen replied. "Poor Trian, he had such a future ahead of him. I see you've picked up a golem somewhere on the way. Should I be impressed? Or should I be impressed that your second-in-command is still following you around like a tame… Dog, isn't it, the drooling creatures the surfacers have?"

"I'm not here to listen to your lies or insults," Kaehlyn said. "I wish to talk to you, alone. Unless you wish to answer the questions I have in front of everyone."

"Alone with a sister who's already murdered my dearest brother?" Bhelen asked, but there was flicker in his eyes Kaehlyn couldn't quite read. "How do I know you won't try to kill me the minute we're alone?"

Kaehlyn glanced at Gorim, who was staring at Bhelen and looked ready to attack, and then reached to take out her hidden daggers and handed them to the man.

"Now I'm unarmed," she said, spreading her arms open. "Does your highness have the courage to speak to me now that he has a weapon and I don't?"

"Leave us," Bhelen signalled the guards after a short moment of silence and then looked at Gorim and Shale. "They leave too."

"I'm not going to..:" Gorim started to say, but Kaehlyn turned to look at him.

"I'll be fine," she said, smiling at him. "If not," she whispered, leaning closer, "tell Shale to squish whoever he wishes."

"I'll be right outside," Gorim touched her hand, gently, and glared at Bhelen before walking out after Shale.

"Have you bedded him yet?" Bhelen asked when the door closed. "The fool seems to worship the stones you walk on rather than the Stone."

"I don't have the patience for your idiocy," Kaehlyn said, walking closer to her brother. "I just want an honest answer from you. Did you kill father?"

"Is that what Harrowmont is saying?" Bhelen looked her straight in the eye. "That I killed him?"

"Why would that be so hard to believe?" Kaehlyn asked, fighting to keep calm. "You already had killed Trian. What's patricide if you already have practised on fratricide?"

"I did not kill father," Bhelen said, looking away and sighing. "You won't believe me, I understand that, but I didn't. I could've waited. I just needed Trian out of the way. And you, of course."

"I was never in your way," Kaehlyn said. "I never wanted the th…"

"Don't do that!" Bhelen's voice was almost a growl. "You kept saying you just want to be a warrior, you have no interest on the throne, but everyone loved you! The warrior princess, almost like her grandmother, both beautiful and brave! Trian would've made a lousy king, everyone knew that, except father! I bet you anything, _anything_, that after father's death, the Assembly would've gathered and one of Trian's followers would've nominated him as the king, but then one deshyr would've risen, and another, and another, and all of them would've nominated you. And you would've taken the throne, because that would've been your duty. You wouldn't have walked away."

"Have you suddenly gained the gift of foresight?" Kaehlyn hissed at him. "You based all of your plans on this fantasy, on this…"

"On the truth!" Bhelen yelled. "It's what would've happened! It has happened before, it would've happened again. The unwilling noble becomes the king because the Assembly deems it so. I decided to follow father's example and make sure I was the one to become king."

"What do you mean, follow his example?" Kaehlyn asked, blinking.

"Come on, how stupid are you? He was once me! His brother was destined to be the king, but whoops, the brother dies and then suddenly it's King Endrin on the throne!" Bhelen stopped and grinned at her. "Father should've been proud that I followed his example!"

"Liar!" Kaehlyn wished she'd still have those daggers, because one of them belonged between Bhelen's ribs. Instead she lunged herself at her brother, her fingernails scratching his cheek before he had the time to protect himself. She tried to hit him, but he caught hold of her wrist, then her other one.

"I am a murderer!" Bhelen yelled at her face as she tried to struggle free. "That I can admit! But a liar I am not. What I did was no worse than what father did. You can choose to live in blind ignorance and think father did nothing wrong, or you can go to the Shaperate, read the records and see the truth."

"You will never be the king as long as I live," Kaehlyn hissed at him. "I will make sure of that."

"You will let me in this instant!" The door swung open and a red-haired woman ran in and stopped, staring at them in horror. Kaehlyn remembered her, from the day before the battle. She'd come from Bhelen's room, at the day of the Proving, and now… Now she was wearing a loose dress that still didn't hide her growing stomach. Bhelen released Kaehlyn's wrists and took a step back, as if expecting another attack.

"You're going to be a father?" Kaehlyn asked, her voice almost a whisper, as the woman hurried past her and flung herself in Bhelen's arms. The woman turned to look at her, tears in her eyes.

"Do not harm him," she said, her voice pleading. "He's all I have."

"For your sake, I hope it's a boy," Kaehlyn said, unable to think of anything else to say, and turned away. She could hear Bhelen mumbling some reassurances to the woman, but it was impossible to make out the words. Not that it really mattered what her brother said to his whore, or did it?

"My lady…" Gorim tried to stop her, but she walked past him. She was aware of Gorim and Shale following her back to Harrowmont's estate and aware of following a servant to the room that had been prepared for her, but then she collapsed on the floor, hugging her knees and staring ahead without really seeing anything. She wasn't certain how many hours had passed before there was a knock on her door and Gorim slipped in.

"Your father served my father, so he would've known," Kaehlyn said before Gorim had time to ask how she was or make some other irrelevant question or comment. "And that means you might know it too. Did my father kill his own brother?" She looked up at Gorim, who stood there, in candlelight, clearly trying to think of what to say. His silence told her enough.

"Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised," she said. "After all, I grew up in the middle of all the politics. I've given a few orders to kill someone myself. I know father has, too. But his own brother… And I wanted to kill Bhelen, I wanted it so bad, but then that would've made me no different from him. And he will be a father! I will have a nephew or niece! I… I thought I already knew what it felt like for a life to crumble down, but this is much worse. This is…"

"Kaehlyn," Gorim knelt next to her on the floor and wrapped his arms around her. She allowed him to pull her into his arms, and pressed her head against his shoulder. His fingers were caressing her hair gently and she allowed herself to cry, feeling safe and… and loved. She could be weak, at least for a moment, because he wouldn't judge her, he would be there no matter what. At some point she must've fallen asleep, because she woke up the next morning in her bed, still wearing the blue dress. She changed her clothes and washed her face, the ordinary actions helping her not to think about the previous day, and headed to Harrowmont's office, where Gorim was already waiting. Waiting for her, she realized as he looked up and smiled at her.

"Thank you," she said, smiling back at him.

"Anything for you," he replied, and she knew he meant it.

…

Note from the writer: Schedules, can't keep 'em. And DA2 is almost here, which is both a blessing and a curse. But thank you for reading, there is more to come, although the "when" is not yet clear.


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